Becker

I literally just pulled out of Christopher's driveway and my phone rings. Who is calling me at 11:30 on a Saturday morning? I didn't recognize the number, but I picked it up anyways.

It was Becker wanting to know if we were still on for lunch.

Shit.

I completely forgot about it.

I was talking to Becker Thursday night and he drops the "girlfriend" bomb, as in "I'm hanging out with an old friend of mine on Friday- we never get to see each other since our girlfriends are feuding." I was shocked. You don't make dates with other girls when you have girlfriends. If my boyfriend did it, I'd break up with him immediately.

I thought about saying something, but decided not to. Guys usually slip that in for a reaction and I wasn't going to satisfy him with one. I had already said yes to Saturday and I would go through with it to spite him. Actually, I sort of assumed Saturday was off since he said that- which is why I forgot about it. I figured he just made that up to get out of the date.

I'm unshowered and feeling nasty after spending the night with Christopher. I hate brushing my teeth in a parking lot. I told Becker I would still meet him for lunch and did the best I could with my appearance while driving there.

Becker was not as good looking as I remember. I remember his hair being shorter. I wonder if I built him up too much in my head. I still had fun though. Lunch lasted 5 hours with me slowly getting drunk and Becker with his iced tea. He's a bit socially clumsy, but it was a pleasant date. I discovered during the date that he had just broken up with his last girlfriend 2 weeks ago. He kept mixing up his tenses with her, which I think is what happened Thursday night.

To be honest, I feel more for Christopher, but I'll see Becker again on a super casual basis- he's obviously not ready for anything. I'm a good catch and worth more than a rebound.

Friday Night

All of the girls said I looked really awesome at work on Friday- they loved my new skirt.

Afterwards I drove to Christopher's to get my shoes. We just hung out in front of the TV for about an hour until he offered me a beer. I figured that was a good sign even though Maddy was not coming over.

At 9 he reaches into the fridge for another beer and asks me what my plans were for that night. I smiled and said I was hanging out with him. "You trying to get rid of me or something?"

He smiled just as slyly, "No."

We ended up finishing his beer and watching a scary movie before going to bed.

I think I have him figured out. At least, I know how to behave around him. He's not into warm greetings or goodbyes. I think with him affection comes with time, but he will never become a touchy-feely person. He presents a pretty tough macho exterior: he has a strut and everything. He reminds me of a "rat pack" person, and I think he'd love it if you told him that.

The next morning I hung out for about a half hour before getting up to leave. He asked me if I was going to my college town this weekend and I said as a matter of fact I was going Saturday night. Against my better judgment, I invited him along. He accepted and I said I would give him a call later.

I wasn't ready to take him there. I wasn't ready to introduce him to my friends. I wouldn't know how to introduce him. I didn't know how me bringing a guy up with me to the boys' house would go over. Conor is technically an ex, but I think he'd be okay with it. I didn't know how weird it would be for the other boys. I felt like I would be insulting Bryan by bringing another guy to his house. Christopher and I have never gone out together, we've always go to his house or a friend's house. It would be our first night out. Should I really take him out with my 4 guy friends?

I still wanted him to come.

Plans, plans, plans!

I have to look gorgeous for work tomorrow. I'm going to wear my stiletto heels with a this new skirt I got a few weeks ago. It'll be very sexy looking.

I'm stopping by Christopher's after work. I left my tennis shoes there and I need to retrieve them. We have tentative plans to maybe do something tomorrow afternoon, but I don't think it's definite. I told him to ask Maddy if he wants to all get together and he said okay. I think this means if Maddy doesn't want to do anything, then Christopher and I won't do anything. I don't know, I'll just bring extra clothes just in case and play it by ear.

Maybe my new skirt will change his mind...

In any case, I made a date with another guy I've been talking to the past couple of weeks. I'm excited. Becker seems like a nice guy and I can't wait to see if we have any chemistry. We are going out for lunch and beers Saturday afternoon.

I think scheduling this second date is a good thing. It keeps me from getting too attached to Christopher and it makes me feel like I have the upper hand because I do have other guys on the side. I've got my eggs in all sorts of baskets all over the city.

I'm breezy, I'm getting it elsewhere; I don't need you.

Saturday night I have plans with my platonic friend Brad. We're supposed to get together and drink and commiserate about our dating lives. Unfortunately for him, if Friday night and Saturday afternoon go well, then I'm not going to be much help Saturday night. Brad also lives with Conor and Bryan, the guy from New Year's Eve. I don't know if Bryan will be there, but I am curious to know if he ever got his first choice or not. He could hear about my busy dating life and get all jealous.

That's not why I'm hanging out with Brad, but it would be a major perk to the night.

If nothing else, I'll have some good stories for next week!

Impromptu Gathering

Whew.

It was so nice to be able to just relax with a guy and not worry the entire time. This was Christopher's and my third time hanging out. We're comfortable around each other so I don't have to be all polite and ask if I can use his restroom. I just get up and go.

He put on my show, but he couldn't do it without messing with me. He'd change the channel in the middle of it until I started hollering at him in a high-pitched whine. The funniest part was when he turned the split screen feature on his TV and played my show on one half of the screen and porn on the other half. I wanted to strangle him!

As much as he picks on me and teases me, whenever I draw the line and spell it out for him, "If you do this, then I'm going to be upset," he respects it. This is what makes him a nice guy.

I wasn't going to take any chances with bad breath, body odor, greasy hair, or anything that could possibly turn him off this time, so when my show was over I used his bathroom and showered.

We finally made out :)

When his alarm went off the next morning, he didn't get up even though he was already awake. Either he wanted to just lay there a little longer because he was tired, or because I was sleeping on him. I'd like to think it was a little bit of both. He ended up leaving for work when he was already supposed to be there. I had such a good time, I can't wait until we do it again!

It all makes sense, now I only want to jump off a bridge

Oh my god. You're going to die laughing when I tell you this.

Christopher called me on his own accord about 30 minutes after I wrote the post on Sunday about our Friday date. Every time I told him I did something, he asks me if I brushed my teeth. For instance, I told him I stopped at the Taco Bell by his apartment on my way home Saturday afternoon. "Did you brush your teeth afterwards? What about your tongue?" he asks.

He's so weird, I didn't really know where he was going with this. He said something that made me bring up him continuously shoving gum in my mouth. "Why did I do that?" He asked.

"I don't know."
"Think about it."
"I have no idea!"
"...You had bad breath."

Oh my god.

That's why he didn't want to get close to me.

I thought back to Friday when I put on my scrubby jeans and sweater. I didn't brush my teeth before I left. I didn't bring a toothbrush with me to his house, because I didn't want to look presumptuous. I didn't really know what to expect when I got there.

I just whispered, "Oh my god, I want to die. I'm so mortified," over and over into the phone for about 2 minutes.

In true Christopher fashion, he responds,"What about me? It's hard telling a girl that!" I just whimpered. "You should be thanking me!" he says.

As much as I needed the info, I couldn't thank him. It's like thanking someone after they kick you in the nuts.

"Well go brush your teeth and your tongue and come over. If you want, I'll show you how to floss." What a guy.

I protested at first because we have to work in the morning. He brought up the point that he lives 10 minutes from my work. I live an hour and a half away when there's traffic. I told him my show was coming on at 10pm and I have to watch it. He said he'll put it on for me. I said I have to let my dog pee in the morning before I go to work. He called me a liar.

"Okay. Let me figure out what I'm wearing to work tomorrow and I'll be over."

He's not an intentional asshole, that's just his sense of humor

I called Christopher Thursday evening. He didn't pick up the phone. I got upset and cursed myself for even calling in the first place. He called me back later that night. He said he was at the gym when I called. We talked for about 40 minutes. He was interested in what I had to say; I was a little surprised.

I asked him if he wanted to do a happy hour Friday after work. He said he would and said he'd also invite Maddy and Rebecca. I laughed and told him Rebecca STILL hasn't called me back so good luck with that. (I left her another message and still haven't heard anything, but I also hear she's really busy.) Friday I call him when I get off work and his phone is off. Fucking hey. I begin the long commute home and he calls me back when I'm almost home. He said he just got my message and he was at the gym. I sense a pattern here. He does, however, have a really nice body.

He doesn't want to do happy hour anymore because he doesn't want to spend any money. I offer to go to his house and bring some beer and he likes the plan. I ask about food and he says he has a frozen pizza. I go ahead and finish my commute home and change into something very casual- just jeans and a sweater. I'm doing all the work here and I don't know what to expect when I get there, so I don't exactly work at my appearance.

When Christopher opens the door to his apartment, he's all dressed up. He's also cooking us dinner. Crap- THIS IS A DATE! I'm wearing tennis shoes! Dinner was really good and he and I actually get along really well. We make each other laugh. We just click- no awkward silences, no awkwardness at all. We work our way through the suitcase of beer and get rather drunk. He keeps giving me pieces of gum and telling me to chew them- I had like 4 pieces in my mouth at one point until I refused more gum. I moved over on the couch and lay on him. I had to physically move his arm around me, but he leaves it there.

When it gets late, we go to bed. In bed I kiss him. This is the first time we kissed. The rest is pretty hazy, but I think I said something about wanting to date him. Date to me means, you go out but not exclusively. He took date as an exclusive activity and said he's been hurt and isn't ready for a girlfriend. I think I got frustrated and passed out. The whole conversation was pretty redundant on my part because that's exactly what we just had: a date. Don't know why I couldn't be happy with it.

The next morning the same games began. He'd initiate and back off all morning. I have no idea why he does this. The cynic in me thinks he just wants to see if he could get some if he wanted- that he's just testing me. But we still laughed and had a good time.

When I left, I paused so he could walk me to the door. He followed me, then turned into the kitchen. "I'll talk to you later," he called from the kitchen. I must have reacted badly because he quickly added, "Hey, drive home safely, ok?"

Here's the thing- probably the part where you tell me I'm crazy- I think he does like me. I don't know if he's just socially inept. He's a northerner so it may just be a difference in manners. I'm not using that to explain his actions here, but in general southern guys behave completely differently. Even if they don't like you, they are still going to treat you nicely. There might be stuff that he's not doing that I'm used to and it would throw me off. He may have been hurt like he said and have intimacy issues, explaining why he starts and stops all the time. He has a very different personality from what I've ever encountered before. He acts differently from what I've encountered before. So maybe this is all a part of it.

He did dress up. He cooked dinner when he didn't have to. He took care of me the next morning when I was hungover. Our conversations click. He asked me a lot of questions about myself, truly interested. He would repeat some of the answers back like he was trying to remember them. There are plenty of good things that happened. If it wasn't for the sexual equation, I would think things are fine. So why do I think that things aren't ok?

Charlie: A Story of Hope

When I was visiting Nick last month I met his longtime best friend, Charlie. Charlie is one of those guys who is gorgeous, fit, smarter than I could ever dream of, and witty. In other words, way out of my league. Charlie is one of those guys I would picture with a drop dead gorgeous blonde who's at Harvard getting her doctorate in political science. They would be one of "those" couples, ones that you are so jealous of that you want to hate them with a passion, but you just can't because they're genuinely good people.

That's Charlie.

And of course Charlie, being as nice as he is, exchanges e-mail addresses with me when I'm up there and we e-mail each other once or twice a week on random topics. It's very casual, very friendly. Don't worry, I'm not deluded into thinking anything naughty regarding him.

Not long after I got back from there, Charlie sends me an e-mail and was discussing his weekend. He said he went to see "The Nutcracker" on a Friday and he had such a good time that he thought he would go again Saturday night and maybe this time try a meet a girl. Good thinking on his part, I can imagine a lot of girls going to see that without a guy. I do.

So the next day, Charlie gets dressed up and heads back over to the ballet. He didn't know that the times are different on the weekend and he had already missed the first half of the show. He doesn't want to wait around for the next show so he leaves, picks up some take-out, and goes home. "I'm home alone on a Saturday night, eating take-out, and watching basketball," he complains. "How pathetic am I?"

I responded with only one sentence, "I was right there with you until you mentioned the basketball game."

Recently, Charlie asks my advice about asking this girl out he liked. He took it and she accepted the date (of course my advice would work!) When he called and asked her out for a second date, she turned him down.

If a guy like Charlie has trouble meeting people and finding people to date, then there is hope for the rest of us. He is the Superman of guys and he's single and struggling too. If there are guys out there like that, then I'm going to be okay. I know there are still a few single nice guys left in the world.