The Others

For a hot minute this fall, the entire group of friends was dating someone.

Katie found a new boyfriend that she described as her most passionate relationship.

Swayze met a girl through Match that he had been quietly seeing during the week.

Mel had met a boy that engaged in long conversations with her and made her feel beautiful.

And I had Abraham.

We were at an away football game, sitting under the comfort of a tailgating tent and sipping hunch punch. We were all a little smug about it. Five years together and this is the very first time we all had someone. We took turns describing how we met our significant others while cooing at the others' stories.

All of our relationships are radically different. Katie met the guy and they hadn't been out of each other's sight yet. Swayze would post on Facebook about going apple picking with his girl. Mel's beau didn't contact her every day, but when he did, he'd pick up the phone for an hour-long conversation. Abraham and I communicate daily, but it's in short bursts through text.

I think we all had envy of the others' relationships. As much as the idea of leaving the city to drive to a farm to pick apples makes me want to gag, it sounds like an adorable couple-y thing to do. That is Pinterest material. Mel had a boy who liked to talk on the phone, raising him to mythical status. They both sound so nice. On the other hand, I think Mel appreciated my constant contact with Abraham. I think Swayze appreciated the comfortable nature of my relationship; we don't have to spend the time and energy on adorable, couple-y things.

Katie's relationship was the first to erupt. Her boyfriend fell out of favor with the group. They're still together, but he's no longer invited around us. Swayze and his girl mysteriously "mutually decided to not see each other anymore," whatever that means. Mel's boy didn't call one week for his famous phone chat and is now wanted by authorities on the grounds of fading away.

Relationships are different. They're different from your friends' relationships and they're even different among partners. You are more or less the same person but each relationship you engage in is unique.

I was with Valdosta this time last year. Valdosta, who never let the current date end without planning the next date. Valdosta, who always said the right things. Valdosta, who never gave himself to me. And I'm looking to the right of this web page and seeing the posts labeled "Abraham" slowly outnumber the posts labeled "Valdosta." Days spent with Abraham have already outnumbered days spent with Valdosta.

Who's to say what's right or wrong in relationships? That there is certain way for them to be conducted?

A coworker of mine recently met a boy who properly asked her out on a second date. He gave her three options to choose from. She refused to choose among them, stating that he's the boy and it's his job to impress her. She never made a decision and he never made a decision and the second date never happened.

I kept my mouth shut, but I thought loudly. Was it worth it? Was it worth it to be right instead of happy? I'd choose happy any day. And I am.