He's Not That Into You

I don't think I ever got dating right. I don't think I ever got rid of my bad habits; I think I just got really, really lucky with Abraham.

I mean, we talked for months, so that was good. Then we made out behind a bar and didn't see each other for weeks and weeks (he was nervous, he said.) That's... less good. According to the Rules, He Wasn't That Into Me. And then I got shitfaced, went home with him, threw up on everything he owned and then slept with him. I don't think there a self-help book that addresses what I did there. And then I hung around while it took him four months to become comfortable with the relationship. I never learned my lesson.

"Yes, you did!" exclaimed Paige over a bottle (or three) of wine. "You always dated people that needed you, whether financially or socially." Both Christopher and S were unemployed most of our relationships. Neither of them had friendships independent of the relationship. "Abraham didn't need you. He already had his needs taken care of. That is breaking your pattern!"

So at least I have that. I did know that Abraham was different. While people think it should be all roses and best behavior in the beginning, it wasn't that way for me. Abraham needed time. The difference was that he didn't treat me badly during that period. He never made me feel undesired; he never made me feel second place. I should be crying, I thought more than once. This should bother me, but it does not, and I can't explain why. Maybe this is maturity.

It just turned out he's still That Into Me.


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According to my blog, I read this book in 2006. I still stand by that review (although I have no idea who Ryan is). This book taught me that you are not the exception; you are the rule.

I imagine everybody has read this book by now. But just in case you were in a relationship in 2006 and are no longer in one, I have a free copy for you. Leave a comment and I'll use a random number generator to select the winner.