~Tuesday, January 24, 2006

It all makes sense, now I only want to jump off a bridge

Oh my god. You're going to die laughing when I tell you this.

Christopher called me on his own accord about 30 minutes after I wrote the post on Sunday about our Friday date. Every time I told him I did something, he asks me if I brushed my teeth. For instance, I told him I stopped at the Taco Bell by his apartment on my way home Saturday afternoon. "Did you brush your teeth afterwards? What about your tongue?" he asks.

He's so weird, I didn't really know where he was going with this. He said something that made me bring up him continuously shoving gum in my mouth. "Why did I do that?" He asked.

"I don't know."
"Think about it."
"I have no idea!"
"...You had bad breath."

Oh my god.

That's why he didn't want to get close to me.

I thought back to Friday when I put on my scrubby jeans and sweater. I didn't brush my teeth before I left. I didn't bring a toothbrush with me to his house, because I didn't want to look presumptuous. I didn't really know what to expect when I got there.

I just whispered, "Oh my god, I want to die. I'm so mortified," over and over into the phone for about 2 minutes.

In true Christopher fashion, he responds,"What about me? It's hard telling a girl that!" I just whimpered. "You should be thanking me!" he says.

As much as I needed the info, I couldn't thank him. It's like thanking someone after they kick you in the nuts.

"Well go brush your teeth and your tongue and come over. If you want, I'll show you how to floss." What a guy.

I protested at first because we have to work in the morning. He brought up the point that he lives 10 minutes from my work. I live an hour and a half away when there's traffic. I told him my show was coming on at 10pm and I have to watch it. He said he'll put it on for me. I said I have to let my dog pee in the morning before I go to work. He called me a liar.

"Okay. Let me figure out what I'm wearing to work tomorrow and I'll be over."


Jenni said...

Sounds like maybe you are in for a good time. But the bad breath thing is hard to deal with. I'd probably feel exactly the same way you do about being told. Have fun!

Your Sin City Friend said...

Okay, here it is, directly from me to you;

I found the perfect thing to hide bad breath...it's the most amazing lip gloss. I'll email you about it, but it has peppermint that actually makes your breath smell fresher!

Desperate Sarah said...

Ooh thanks! I don't think I have it perpetually, but I guess I did that night!


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