~Monday, March 06, 2006

Desperate Sarah 4 Eva

I'm Desperate Sarah. I'm not Single Sarah, Lonely Sarah, or Shitfaced Sarah (although sometimes it's looking that way.) Stories like the following explain why I'm Desperate Sarah.

Christopher: (answering door) You're popping in. I'm not a fan of the pop in.
Sarah: I didn't pop! I called you 2 days ago and again on my way over here! Here, let me reenact my message: 'Hey Christopher, it's Sarah. I hope your phone isn't broken...'
Christopher: It is.
Sarah: '...Anyways I just wanted to let you know I'm going to happy hour on Friday and I'm going to be having some drinks. I should be done a little after 8 and I thought I could come over. Give me a call if this is a problem for you.'
Christopher: Well I didn't check my messages.
Sarah: That's your fault. I didn't pop.

Then my phone rings. Off the effing hook. The 30 minutes I was there my phone rang no less than 6 times. He was trying to check his messages on my phone and it rang. I was looking incredibly popular, but I was also on the phone the entire time I was there. He told me when I first got there that he was going out with the guys, but I could hang until he had to leave. When I got off the last call, he began Turning off lamps and walking to the door. I thought it was time to leave and I had my things. At the door, he stops and said he was sorry we couldn't hang longer, but he was going out. I realized he wasn't walking out the door with me, he was just getting rid of me.

Sarah: Wait, you're not walking out with me?
Christopher: No, I'm leaving in like 20.
Sarah: I could wait with you.
Christopher: No, I'm going to walk.
Sarah: I could drive you.
Christopher: No, I'll call you tomorrow night when I'm done.
Sarah: (really obnoxiously) Really? You're gonna call?
Christopher: Yeah.
Sarah: (still being obnoxious) What's my number?
Christopher: It's in my phone.
Sarah: Your phone is broken, Genius, how are you going to call me when you don't have my number?
Christopher: Here, write it down, I'll call you from Maddy's phone when we're done.
Sarah: (Totally not believing him) Okay.

The whole night didn't go well. There was a whole other portion of me asking if I could spend the night Saturday night because I was going out in the area and didn't want to drive home because I was clearly going to be intoxicated. He said he was going out with the guys again and would probably be out late. When I said I was probably going to be out equally as late, he responded that he didn't know what his plans were on Sunday. He was being a dick, which explains why I reacted when I did when he ushered me out the door.

I walk down the stairs of his building and I'm pissed. I'm so pissed. That did not go how I thought it would. I get to the bottom of the stairs and I angrily chuck my beer can into the bushes. I walk a few steps further and see and woman walking her dog in the same area and I almost hit her chihuahua with my half-full beer can.

I apologize profusely. Not only did I litter, but I almost assaulted her dog. I tell her I'll get it and ask her where it went. She pointed to the bushes and I crawl in them.

Woman: What was it?
Sarah: (Standing up in bushes) Anger. I don't know where it went. Is your dog okay?

Then she took a step back and realized that I was having boy problems. It was Friday night, I was dressed up, and I was tipping over from my happy hour buzz. I was looking pretty pathetic drunk and standing in some bushes. I knew it. I think she knew it too.

Woman: You know what? Forget about it. I've been there too.
Sarah: Are you sure?
Woman: Yeah. I know what it's like.
Sarah: I didn't mean to scare your dog. (The dog has been shaking and standing behind his mommy since I almost nailed it with my beer.)
Woman: It's okay. Hope your night gets better.

The next time I get all dreamy over Christopher, will someone please remind me of this moment and then immediately punch me in the left breast? Thanks in advance.


Jenni said...

Damn it. Just when I thought he was winning brownie points, he goes and acts like a big 'ol jackass. After that bunch of bull, I would so VERY SERIOUSLY DELETE HIS NUMBER. Make him call and ask for any further time with you. Find another hottie to spend your time with. He is out there!! Remember "You are hot and worth the trouble!!!"

Gabriel K. said...

That's pretty harsh for him to do that. You think that he was doing that to get back at for your something or maybe because of the whole Rebecca thing?

I think that you should remember what you said in the past, "You are hot and worth the trouble!!!" There's probably lots of guys out there that will treat you a whole lot better than this guy Christopher. There's only so much you can do..

Jenni said...

Sarah, In response to Andrea. You might be able to see through some of the harshness in her comment to find something constructive in the criticism. However I must speak out and say that I DO NOT THINK YOU ARE A FOOL. I think you are making the same mistakes we have all made, and you are learning from them. Also, it's obvious to me that there is wonderful depth to you...so there would be plenty of wonderful things for a man to win over from you besides anything physical. You aren't desperate! You are hot and worth the trouble!!

Anonymous said...

I have no idea what that coward said, but remember this is only 1% of your life, and we all go through exactly everything you have until we find the one. Listen to Jenni, she said some great things!

Anonymous said...

"You are hot and worth the trouble!!!"

Anonymous said...

Punching left breast.


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