~Friday, September 22, 2006

Words

Nonplussed.

I don't think I've ever used that word to describe myself before, but there it is. I am nonplussed.

And a bit cold.

Adam e-mailed me three times on Wednesday and has since remained in consistent contact with me. I have no idea what changed his recent skanky behavior, but I have my guesses.

Impassive.

That's how I feel towards him. I grieved for him on Sunday and once I close someone off to me, it's nearly impossible to let him back in. I have followed his lead with the communication frequency, but his letters mean nothing to me. I don't know what to say back; I have nothing to say back.

Adam: (via e-mail) My life is WAY too busy. Being married in a dull, unloving relationship was much easier in many ways!
Sarah: ...
In his 180 he's been kind and sweet, but after all they're only words.

Like impassive.

Or nonplussed.

5 comments:

M said...

I deal in that way too. Once I've closed off, it's almost impossible for me to open up again.

Phil said...

Yeah I know that feeling too.

Rocky Mountain Princess said...

It's because he hurt your heart, sweetie... and now you don't want to tell him the words that are really inside so everything else is just... empty.

At least, that's this girl's opinion.

Anonymous said...

Take it easy on yourself hon. The best is yet to come. Look forward to your future, rather than back at the past. *hugs*

Angel Girl said...

Yeah in my opinion you get closed off for a reason, follow your instincts. After all they say "If he's really that into you.... (fill in your own thoughts)"

You deserve better, and you will get it. Don't settle for mediocracy.

 

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