~Thursday, October 26, 2006

Afterthoughts

Hi Sarah,

I wouldn't disappear off the face of the earth - especially not with you! ;-)

I was serious about maintaining a friendship... it is a typical thing to say, but I do actually mean it this time, lol! I really do like you as well and you have a sense of humor that is totally to my liking.

I would like to still read the books - I will take care of them - anytime you want them back, just say so. I will probably be able to bust through them after finals in early December (scary thing is that that isn't very far away).

Good luck tonight, can't wait to hear about that!!

Adam


It was the e-mail that broke my crying ban. I didn't even realize that I was crying until the paper towel I keep at my desk for spills was soaked completely through. I wasn't hurt or disappointed that things were officially over, if anything I was relieved. Finally I wouldn't have to worry or stress over him anymore. He had a friendship that turned into something more over the weekend and they decided to give the relationship a chance. Sounds like something that happens only in movies, how could I not root for it?

It's funny how with the breakup, I can be honest for the first time. I had never said to Adam that I liked him before my response. It's understood when you're holding hands and kissing in the park, but I wasn't able to actually verbalize it until then. Adam had never really verbalized it before either. Sure there were "You're cute" and "You're a smart girl" tucked in e-mails, but the boy never said "I really like you" until now.

It was over and I felt relieved and eerily calm. I guess the tears were a release-- I was letting go of everything. I couldn't be upset with him; he was a nice break from reality. In the last year, he was the only man to take me out on proper dates. If anything, he taught me what I should expect and hold out for.

No, I couldn't be upset with him.

I stuck a thumb under each eye and wiped the last of the tears away, careful not to smear my makeup. I had 15 dates that night to prepare for.

10 comments:

Walter said...

I'm terrile at breakups.
You weren't joking were you? Ok, now I'm joking.

When there's a lot of physical tension, mental tension, or a buffet sized combo of both the sudden release of tension brings not only relief and calmness, but tears as well.

Glad you're doing better and moving forward with the knowledge of what to hold out for. You go GERL.

Sarah said...

IT'S MY BLOG AND I CAN FUCK UP IF I WANT TO!

I can also change my comment to remove my typing faux pas and delete yours and everyone would be none the wiser...

But I won't because I'm super cool like that.

Walter said...

I was thinking you wrote "terrile" on purpose to leave me guessing whether you were:

terrible at breakups
terrific at breakups
terrified at breakups
or
territorial at breakups

I'll go with "terrible", and acquiesce to your right to do whatever you want on your blog because of the inherent monarchical rights all blog owners innately possess, and the most important fact that I do find you super cool "like that". ;)

Indiana said...

Some people really are better off just staying friends...the hard part is stepping back over the line once it's been crossed...especially if it was good.

But who cares about the last one, we want to know about the 15?

Steph said...

Move forward. He sounds like a friend worth keeping, if you can do so without regrets over the past.

Good luck with your dates.

Rocky Mountain Princess said...

YOU GO GIRL!

M said...

Am with steph on that one.

Sometimes you just have to have a cry don't you? Sometimes it's the only thing you can do.

Sarah said...

Walter- I feel like I tricked you into thinking I'm that smart! lol

Indiana- I had to close the door on the last one before launching into the speed dating, because it's quite a story.

Steph- Thanks for visiting! Yea! I'm moving on :)

RMP- Back atcha!

M- I'm confident we're going to be friends. I usually am friends with my exes.

Walter said...

Yes, that was a nice "Trick" you pulled on me, but waitaminute, this is like the third time I've left a comment for one post, and most people leave only one comment per post, and next week is the thirty first, which is Halloween, when kids yell out "Trick or Treat!"

Very clever Sarah, very clever. :P

Sarah said...

LOL! I knew you would fall for my evil plan. Wahahah!

 

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