Drunken Photo Envy

I woke up face first on my mattress like a floating dead man. It was 1 PM on the actual Christmas Eve and I was supposed to be driving across the state to see my mother. My mouth was fuzzy, my eyes were fuzzy, and, most importantly, my head was fuzzy from alcohol and its subsequent dehydration.

I dressed slowly and packed a bag that lacked a toothbrush, deodorant, and a hair brush and leashed up the dog and got in the car. At a stoplight, I saw my camera sitting in the passenger seat, still sleeping from the night before. I turned the camera on and laughed so hard I almost threw up.








That's right, I went to a party and took nothing but crotch shots. I mentioned in my 100 Things that I'm a persistent girl: when I get something stuck in my head, I have to follow it through. That night, apparently I wanted crotch shots.

And not to be outdone (or maybe it was drunken penis envy) I made a self-portrait.


Sometimes even I don't know what to do with myself.