I called my mother to tell her that I had been seeing someone for the past few months. I actually am at a loss with how to tell her. It would seem awkward as an announcement. I figured I would just stop lying about my plans. It would go similarly to this:
Mom: What are you doing tonight?
Sarah: I'm going to go see a movie.
Mom: Oh? Who with?
Sarah: Scott.
Mom: Who's Scott?
Sarah: This guy I've been seeing the past couple of months.
See? Not too terrible.
Instead, it went something like this:
Mom: What's new?
Sarah: I got contacted this week to do some freelance work. A neighborhood association wants me to create their website for them. It'll bring in some extra money for me.
Mom: Well just remember how to spell "instrument" correctly on your business cards this time, unlike when you were 13.
Sarah: CAN I NOT TELL YOU ONE THING WITHOUT YOU CRITICIZING ME? THIS IS WHY I DON'T TELL YOU ANYTHING! (Hangs up phone.)
So it looks like it will have to wait.
6:50 PM
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9 comments:
That's fantastic!
You could have turned that around you know...
Something like, "Huh... well, speaking of 'instruments' - I've been seeing a guy for a few months now that has been using his on me."
Or, "yeah, well my boyfriend of a few months actually doesn't play/does play an instrument! How fantastic is that?! So I'm pretty sure I'll spell it right this time. Asshole."
Hope that at least gave you one laugh.
I'm sorry it's so difficult for you to talk to your mom about the things that are important in your life. I'm sure you'll get around to it when the time is right and you feel more comfortable/secure with Scott? Maybe? I dunno. I'm sure you'll find a way to tell her in Sarah's special way that she has.
Thinking of you.
I can relate with you plight on talking about things with you mother, I have the exact same problem.
The thing I hate the most is when I try to tell her something good and she makes it into something bad and I feel guilty!!
But I can still have the last laugh as she still hasn't gotten over the 'btw mum I'm a lesbian' announcement.
I like Amber's first suggestion!
I love how parents have an amazing ability to wind you up with the shortest of remarks. I can be sky high crazy within minutes!
Amber has the right idea. Personally I'd have probably gone with something like:
Oh yeah, I'd almost forgotten about that. The things I did at 13 years old...funny. I can't believe I actually HAD business cards at 13, I mean what kid actually does that?!?
Or maybe something like:
Ha ha ha...not only can I spell instrument correctly I've actually moved up to words like Passive Aggressive now too!!
It's easier said than done but the people that are related are the ones that you either need to figure out how to (excuse me) fuck with better than they fuck with you OR learn to let the comments roll off you like water on a ducks back (my favorite chant actually). Otherwise you will have an aneurysm.
"thanks mum you always knew how to encourage and support me. Thanks for being so happy for me about my work achievements"
Ahhh. Only they can bring the madness out in us like that. . .
lol - sounds like your mom and my mom are long lost sisters!
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