~Wednesday, September 05, 2007

A spreadsheet!?

It was one of those days where I wanted a single beer after work. I slumped my bag down in the hallway corridor and headed straight to the fridge. The seal on the door popped open with a sticky resistance and I stared blankly at the three beer cans on the shelf.

I bought a case yesterday. 24 beers. I had three and the rest must have gone to the boyfriend and my neighbor.

Sure there was enough for me--I only wanted one--but then there wouldn't be enough for Scott, who drinks a minimum of three at a time. I sighed and slumped on my couch, the same way I had discarded my bag in the hallway moments earlier.

"What's wrong?" Scott asked, placing my head in his lap and stroking my hair.

"It's just..." I began, "I'm tired. I'm tired of not making what I should be making. I'm tired of you not making what you should be making. And I'm tired of things like a $12.99 case of beer stressing me out."

"Well I'll buy you more beer."

"I only had three. I'm not buying the beer anymore. The cases of beer are adding up to keep this house afloat and I'm hardly having any. And it sucks that I have to worry about things like that because we drink the cheap stuff. I don't know where my money is going, but I can't even afford the cheap beer anymore."

I forgot about the conversation until the next afternoon when Scott called me at work. "Are you coming home after work?" he asked.

"Yeah, happy hour with the girls got canceled and I have no other plans."

"Okay. I just need to talk to you about something."

"Er, what do you mean you need to talk to me?"

"I just thought about what you said yesterday and I made a spreadsheet."

"Er, yeah, I'll be home straight after work. We can talk then." I paused, "Is it bad?"


"You said you have to talk to me. Is it bad?"

"No!" he laughed.

I immediately called Amber. "He made a spreadsheet! Nothing good has ever come from a spreadsheet!" I whined.

"Did he say anything about what it was about?" she asked.


"Well text me as soon as you know. I'm dying to know too!" she laughed.

I stared at my clock. It was 12:47 pm. How dare he call me five hours before work is over to tell me we need to talk. Clearly no work will be done.


Tilly said...

It's Budget-time! Ha! You really are a couple when the spreadsheet comes into the picture. We've had one for months. It actually really helps. He's planning...for the future...with YOU.

J said...

A spreadsheet is serious business! It is funny that you post this today because I was just thinking that I need to make a spreadsheet to keep my spending under control. Oh the joys of budgeting!!

Single Girl said...

Okay, I REALLY hate it when you leave cliffhangers! Hurry up and tell us what happens!!

nicole said...

my fiance did the whole calling me hours before we could talk about something back when we first started dating. the whole rest of the day i was sure something bad was coming, it turned out to be nothing. but it was still stressful/annoying for those hours.

Indiana said...

LOL Its a spreadsheet its not an accounting of how much sexual pleasure you give hime over time...is it?

KennethSF said...

You should go prepared--with a PowerPoint presentation to counter his Excel sheet :-P

M said...

oh lordy - bless his heart but he has a bit of dork in him. I never understand spreadsheet people. I mean why not just get out the old calculator and a pen? Don't formulas get annoying? What's with all those little boxes anyway? Err...anyway, I say you can now take the upper hand and lay into him with the computer geek jokes! :D

M said...

oh my god Kenneth that is the BEST idea EVER!!! lol <3<3<3

Anonymous said...

um, why not tell him to just top drinking your beer all the time? and atleast three beers a night? - he should tone that down anyway.

T.J. said...

awe, i think it's sweet that you are obviously stressed about money and he is going to get you organized!! ha! I too was with a "fixer" and he always had a solution for everything! Whoo-hoo for spreadsheets! good luck :)

Venting said...

It's obvious he made a budget!

Also, OMG A CASE OF BEER COSTS $34 CAD!!! (Cheap stuff).

Brooklyn said...

Uh oh, the real world has slapped you squarely across the face. Budgets are horrid little necessary evils. I choose to ignore mine because I really like to shop.

Single Girl said...

Yeah, I have to agree with anonymous too, at least 3 beers a night? That's a bit much. It's one thing to have a beer after work every once in a while, but every night and at least 3? I know I shouldn't judge, but I'm just saying. . .

Peach said...

you're right: nothing good EVER came out of a spreadsheet



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