~Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Fantasy versus Reality

Fantasy

While commuting home from work, get restless. Decide to send your man a racy text, which is really out of character for you since you don't really text since you got dumped via one a few years ago. "I'm wanna sex you up," you type out, laughing at your Color Me Badd reference, and take pause to wonder what is it with your complete and utter love of terrible music. Your man texts back something equally as racy and you press the gas pedal to get home that much quicker.

Once in your apartment, pour yourself a glass of red wine. Wander into the bedroom to straighten the covers on the bed and light some candles. Shed your winter clothes for a see-through black lace babydoll he's never seen before. Strike a pose at the end of the hallway so when he opens the front door, he gets a full view of you.

When he opens the door, he gasps at your boldness. He drops his keys and rushes to you and immediately grabs you and kisses you. Like a dance, he moves forward and you move backwards towards the bedroom. His arms are wrapped around you and you never stop kissing, even when your back hits the bed. Wild and passionate lovemaking ensues.

Reality

While commuting home from work, get restless. Decide to send your man a racy text, which is really out of character for you since you don't really text since you got dumped via one a few years ago. "I'm wanna sex you up, you type out," laughing at your Color Me Badd reference, and take pause to wonder what is it with your complete and utter love of terrible music. Wait for his response.

"Fo real? I dont believe u," he responds. Groan at the fact you're with someone who uses text lingo. Gag a little bit.

Once in your apartment, pour yourself a glass of red wine. Wander into the bedroom to straighten the covers on the bed and light some candles. Shed your winter clothes for a see-through black lace babydoll he's never seen before. Realize it's still winter, and put a robe on over your goosefleshed skin. Shiver another minute.

Check the clock to see the time, and wonder where he is. Finish the glass of wine and look helplessly around the apartment. Finally sit down on the couch and pick up your knitting.

After he knocks on the door (because you so cleverly locked it—he can't come home and see you in a terrycloth robe and knitting or he'll run 10 miles in the other direction), race to the door and unlock it while tossing both the robe and the knitting. Breathlessly strike your pose at the end of the hallway.

When he opens the door, he gasps at your boldness. And then he stifles back a laugh. You shrug it off and walk towards him, planting him a soft and seductive kiss while pushing his leather jacket off his shoulders.

"I'm sorry, but I really have to vent about work first. I'm so mad!" he says.

Remember it's still winter and feel a gust of chill from when he came inside. Retrieve both your robe and your knitting and slink back onto the couch. Listen to him vent about issues that seriously could have waited until after the wild and passionate lovemaking.

When he realizes you're not exactly paying attention, he stops talking and looks at you in your robe. He gently grabs the belt and loosens it and peels back the front layer to peek inside. It's like he sees you for the first time today. Pick up where your fantasy left off.

15 comments:

kristin b said...

text lingo and knitting! i hate one. i secretly do the other!

Sarah said...

A girl after my own heart ;)

>*;* said...

Love this post. At least you got passionate love making! You go girl!

dont eat the token said...

reality is funny AND sexy

Blue soup said...

I dunno, men eh? They spend half their time trying to get you into the sack, and then totally miss it when you're in the mood :)

Diane Mandy said...

Sounds like reality, but fortuantely, not a bad at all!

M said...

lol, at least it ends up the same way as in the fantasy :D

treacle said...

lol, he got it in the end eh?!

AmyD said...

I LOVE this post! Personally, if the "fantasy" had played itself out exactly like you thought it might, your relationship wouldn't be nearly as interesting or real. Sorry, but it needed to be said. ;o) I'm glad he was able to vent so he could finally let loose and pick up where fantasy left off! Woo hoo! Haha!

Venting said...

Ahhh - domestic bliss!

Vi said...

I did this with a boyf before, he didn't believe the texts I sent, I'm looking HOT, black fur coat, red stilletos, black lacy underwear underneath. He's standing in the doorway, six layers on shivering like mad, holding a box of groceries for dinner. The bugger made me wait until he finished cooking!

M-Joy said...

OMG for me being completely and totally hung up on this reality versus fantasy thing can I just say THANK YOU.

I think I must blog now...

Angel Girl said...

Blue Soap, that's pretty univeral whether you are straight or gay.. lol. Sarah, you had me crackin up.. been there!

Verona Says said...

Love this post. Best part was the knitting!

Peach said...

heh heh, real life !

 

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