~Monday, March 24, 2008

Statistics

I'm a big fan of numbers. I find no solace in my friend Mel soothingly telling me that I'll find someone to share my life with, that she just knows it. I can't trust her faith over my own, but I can believe statistics. Statistics are more concrete than Mel's faith, and they tell me that 90% of Americans will marry in their lifetimes should they choose. 90% is a comforting statistic.

Much similar to when I ended up on Plan B some months ago after a broken condom. Plan B has a 90% chance of preventing pregnancy. And sure enough, even though I rarely feel like I belong with the majority, I fell into the 90% category.

The thyroid biopsy had a 90% return rate: 75% chance it came out benign and like a 7% chance of malignancy. Throw in human error and there was a 10% chance that it could be inconclusive. I felt fine, knowing that I was going to find out what was going on diagnostically one way or the other. After all, 90 is a big number.

But the doctor came back with "inconclusive" and "atypical cells." He can't rule out cancer, and wants to schedule me for another biopsy. Another one. And because of my virtually nonexistent health insurance, I'm out of money after writing a rather large check for the first one. Not the mention that once ruled inconclusive, the statistic goes up: 50% chance of the second test being inconclusive as well.

They can't tell me if I have cancer or not. Ah, I was going somewhere with this, but I can't remember after laying it out there like that. They don't know, and that's the bare bones truth of it all.

18 comments:

Emma said...

Fingers crossed and thinking of you Sarah, take care..xx

Single Girl said...

So sorry to hear the results were inconclusive. Just know we're all here for you. Let me know if you need anything!

kristin b said...

i'm thinking about you. xo.

Raj said...

So sorry to hear that. I am keeping my fingers crossed. Take care.

Paige Jennifer said...

Gah - I hate not knowing. Hang in there. Be the strong gal you are. Blah blah blah. Cry, eat chocolate and do whatever else it is you need to do to connect now to then.

In the meantime, look into health insurance. And if you want to pick my brain for free, pick away. You have my email.

KennethSF said...

Yeah, like Paige says, it might be worth looking into buying insurance. I'm self-employed, so I have to buy my own too.

I'm sorry the results aren't so encouraging. But it's better to find out, so you can be prepared for whatever is in store. Good luck!

M said...

oh god, this must be so frustrating. How can something like this be inconclusive? Christ.

Cara Hurley said...

Oh my goodness. I am not happy that they are going to charge you for the same procedure. Can't they reduce the cost this time? Have you explained to them that you can't afford it? It's not fair.

It's even worse that you have to go through that whole nerve wracking wait AGAIN. :-(

I am praying for you.

dont eat the token said...

That definitely sounds frustrating and a little scary.

I'd say, though - 50% on top of 90% equals 140% and that tells me you're going to be perfectly fine.

:)

Enny said...

That totally sucks that they can't tell yet - Fingers are staying crossed for you, stay well...!

Peach said...

ah that sucks - I'm so sorry. SURELY they should fund the second test? SURELY!? Inconclusive means they need more info, so they should pay it. Bastards.

Don't let them grind you down and I hope you're ok XXX

Lpeg said...

fingers crossed. that's really shite about the insurance too.

goodluck. we're rooting for your health!

Diane Mandy said...

I'm so so sorry! But You've got to go back. What other choice do you have?

AmyD said...

Oh no!!! I'm so sorry to hear this; I can't imagine how scared and helpless (and poor) you must be feeling right now. :o(

We're here for you Sarah, and while it might not entail numbers, I'll be sending some prayers up for you. (((HUGS))) Good luck and keep us posted!

treacle said...

fingers, toes and everything crossed for you honey. And I'll shoot up a prayer or two too. xx

applejess said...

xoxoxox

J said...

Bah! How frustrating. Hang in their girl. I will be thinking of you!

Tilly said...

My extremeties are all crossed, along with the rest.

Good, strong, positive thoughts are on their way.

 

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