~Monday, October 06, 2008

Bad, Good, Ugly

"We found a few benign cells," the doctor tells me over the phone, but before I can breathe a sigh of relief, he quickly finishes, "but not enough to rule it as benign."

"So it's inconclusive again?" I ask, thinking about the inconclusive statistic which means imminent surgery.

"No, not inconclusive, just... not benign."

So, not cancer, but not benign.

In my flow chart of hypothesized outcomes, this wasn't one of them. He then looked over my blood work to see if I was eligible for medication to shrink the tumors. "No," he tsked. "Your levels are high, so any medication would not only be useless to you, but it would also throw your body into hyperthyroidism."

"Hyper? As in rapid weight loss?" I asked.

"Yes, as in eyes bugging out of your head," he corrected.

"Oh."

He gently encouraged me to have the surgery to remove my thyroid and "put this behind [me] and move on with [my] life." When I told him I was not ready to have surgery yet, he then gave me the option of waiting another six months and having a third biopsy to see if there are any changes. I greedily accepted and promised him that if I felt any pain in my neck, or noticed it larger in size, I would have it out immediately.

In other news, I had to have a different biopsy on a very scary part of my body, but that came back all clear with nothing wrong. The relief of a benign biopsy made me giddy.

In other other news, they are laying off 20% of my company tomorrow. The shit keeps a commin'.

11 comments:

Single Girl said...

At least it wasn't flat out bad news. I am totally with you with the hypothesizing outcomes! I always do that! Glad to hear the other biopsy went well. I'll be sending out good thoughts tomorrow for the work thing.

kristin said...

holy cow. please know that i am thinking about you a lot. xo.

gl0rious said...

I am thinking and praying for you and Scott. May you both recover and see happier, sunnier days soon. xx

dont eat the token said...

Oh girl!!!!!!! I pray you are in the fortunate 80% at work. And that it stays fortunate.

PROMISE for real that you will watch your neck-bugger very closely and have it out the minute it sneezes!!!!

Diane Mandy said...

It just never ends for you guys! Please keep us posted, ok?

J said...

Hang in there girl! I am thinking of you.

Peach said...

eee gads, hang in there and know that for all this shit, something better, something brilliant is just around the corner for you

x

Trixie said...

Ahg honey, can things get much worse? I certainly hope not.

KennethSF said...

I'm sorry about you have to go through so much uncertainties at the same time. Hang in there.

HomeImprovementNinja said...

Is there a reason why they want to do surgery instead of radiation? My ex's sister got the radioactive iodine which killed off her thyroid, but without any of the side effects of chemo (plus she got to make a lot of jokes about glowing in the dark).

Apparently you can do fine without a thryoid as long as you take a little pill everyday which has what the thryoid normally makes.

Good luck with that...keepin my fingers crossed for you.

Lpeg said...

jeez. the shit keeps coming. seriously. i'm praying for you.

 

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