~Thursday, December 31, 2009

Eff you, 2009, and your little dog too

I have been looking forward to 2010 for at least 6 months. 2009 was such a rat bastard of a year that halfway through in July, I threw a half-New Year's party (which was more of a pity party for one that involved a bottle of wine and a copy of He's Just Not That into You from Blockbuster, but who's counting). I never thought I could have such hatred for something so intangible such as a year of time. I even resort to blaming the Romans for the calendar.

I have so much fury within me that I made my own Worst of 2009 list. (Trinity did it first).

Without further ado and in mostly chronological order:

Worst of 2009

  • Got laid off 34 days into 2009.
  • The very next day my doctor told me it was likely I had thyroid cancer and scheduled me for surgery. That was February.
  • In March I had my car shat in, I was choked on my surgical wound and beaten in the face with a leather-bound book. And I was unemployed.
  • In April my boyfriend pretended to celebrate my birthday but spent his days at work telling girls he didn't love me and was moving out. I found a gold earring I didn't own in the apartment. And I was unemployed.
  • In May I was attacked at a wedding. Boyfriend went on a date with someone else the next day like nothing happened. I moved home with my mother for the second time in my life, only to realize that my step-father was cheating on my mother. Mother told me I was just sensitive. And I was unemployed.
  • A lot of fighting between my mother and step-father in June. Ex-boyfriend tried to kill himself with the watch I gave him for Christmas and he was institutionalized.
  • Got firm proof that my step-father was cheating in July.
  • Moved out of my mother's house in August because we both agreed it wasn't a safe environment for me to be in.
  • In September I realized that my ex-boyfriend was actually a crack addict in addition to an alcoholic.
  • In October someone threw rocks into my apartment and took a crowbar to my car. My knitting bag, one of the most special things I owned, was stolen. I also received a threatening e-mail from the ex-boyfriend who was still in rehab.
  • In December my mother's divorce was final and my step-father of 17 years just left like we never mattered in the first place.

My eye started twitching just making this list.

So to 2009 I say Goodbye and good riddance, you jerk. I'm also waving my middle finger around a lot, but you can't see that.


Bathwater said...

Damn I'd be waving my finger at the old job, the ex-boy friend, the car, cancer, criminals in general..and rock!

But not dogs. And I don't even like dogs.

Aritza, Goddess of .. said...

Hahaha, well I'm laughing but only because you're funny .. not because of the situation. Which I agree .. totally sucked. 2009 was a filthy whore and I'm glad it's over. I hope you had a good New Years celebration :)

Dawn said...

Well, bloody hell, that 2009 sucked donkey balls, didn't it??? I mean, I read your blog, but when it's a concise list like that, well, YEAH... UGH!!!!! Fuckin' UGH!

Here's to a GREAT 2010. It's off to a good start already, huh? Yeah. :)

No more donkey ball sucking years. You've done your time, kiddo.

Anonymous said...

Oh my fucking god!

You deserve the best year ever created by the gods. Seriously.

TexInTheCity said...

Dude, I did my own 2009 Can Suck It list and burned that bitch on New Years Eve!

Girl, YOU more than anyone I know deserves a 2010 filled with jazz hands and yummy goodness :-)

Party Like A Rock Star,

Anonymous said...

I'm waving my middle finger around over '09 as well [but, it's not as prominent in a wool mitten!]

kristin said...

holy shit. i mean, even though i feel like i was there for it (in mind, not body) i still feel like saying holy shit a lot. write a book. and burn it if you want. or give it to me and i'll read it. holy shit.

2010 is our year, babe.

Anonymous said...

2010, here you come!


Peach said...

yeah you totally got it all last year - so you're due something amazing now for 2010 and beyond...

much love to you as always xxx

Lpeg said...

You're due a shitty year never again in your entire life!

Wow, like others, we've been here, reading this whole year, but put together like that, wow...

Here's to a great start to 2010, as well!

Miss Devylish said...

It's strange what we take on as something that will help - just a new day that starts a whole new year. Your year was extremely worse than mine but this was one of the hardest years of my life. Love of my life and I broke up, he treated me like crap for a couple of months after while we had to work together at his theater and around the same time, my step-father died. My year had just been heartbreaking and lonely and I couldn't wait for it to finally be over - tho my purse was stolen new year's eve and I almost lost my job this last week - BUT those things were shockingly recovered - but I said fuck 2009 too. A lot.

Here's to your recovery sugar - you've been thru a lot and you still sound sane and strong. And to a better year for all of us. xo

Blue soup said...

Yeah, you had a shitter of a year hun.

so, here is to 2010. And love, employment, heath and happiness xxx

AmyB said...

Dear Lord... The fact that you survived and made it out to the other side an even better person is just testament to have amazing you are. I hope 2010 kisses all those old wounds for you, Sarah!

Sultana said...

I just appreciate your humour even when describing some shitty situations. I hope for the best for you in the new year.

Paige Jennifer said...

I write fiction, and if I had just two of those things happen to a character, people would balk. No way, they'd argue. It'd never happen.

Er, congrats on breaking through to the other side. And dare I say, without sounding all preachy, being a better (not worse) for it in the end.


Colleen said...

Good God, woman. You're a survivor for sure! Best of times this year, it has to be. You've lived through the worst already.

Trucker-mouth Wife said...

Hot damn! Kudos to you for still standing after all that!

Here's to a better 2010!


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