~Friday, December 18, 2009

Permanently and Unapologetically Single

I wanted to write this post last year, but never got around to it before Christmas, so this is a year in the making!

The following is an excerpt from When the Messenger is Hot by Elizabeth Crane:

Good for You!

Someone finally took a picture of me I don't hate and since I was wearing a red shirt I thought it would be the perfect holiday card. I made fifty copies and put a special nondenominational greeting on there (Hey, Happy Holidays! I thought the Hey gave it a personal touch) and sent them out. Then I started to get some cards back with peculiar responses like, Good for you!, even though I hadn't written any news worth praising on that particular card and then I finally got an e-mail from someone who said she hoped she caught me before I sent too many out because she didn't want me to embarrass myself and I looked at the card again to see if I was exposed in some way or if the printers said, Hey, Merry Christmas! by accident. But the card was just right, and so I e-mailed her back and said I didn't understand what she meant and she e-mailed back that most people who send photos like that also have husbands or babies in the photo. I e-mailed her back again and said that I am not most people.

Did you know what was wrong with the card? I didn't. It would be just like me to do something exactly like that and not realize why people were responding the way they did. To be so permanently and obliviously single. I had no idea that single people are not to send out photo Christmas cards until I read this. And then I felt scorn for the woman who tried to ruin it for the protagonist.

I am single because I feel single. A boyfriend is not enough. I want more. The husband. The baby. The smug photo Christmas card. For the first time ever, I feel like I have a chance at that. And that has nothing to do with Christopher. It has to do with my therapy and finding some glimmer of self-worth and learning to trust myself.

It makes me want to send out a photo Christmas card next year. Not because I am not like most people in that I don't have a husband and a baby, but because I am not like most people.

Wow, this didn't go where I thought it was going to go. The one last year would not have been so hopeful.


Breeza said...

Great post. I feel scorn for that woman too. It's so infuriating to me that singleness is regarded like a terrible disease. I'm going into this holiday season single and I don't care. I'm hopeful for next year. And I'm glad you are too! I have a good feeling for you. :)

Soup said...

I agree that being single is nothing to be ashamed of! Plenty of people CHOOSE to be single. At the moment, it looks pretty appealing to me!

I think photo cards are a US thing though. It's not really done over this side of the pond. I think I would laugh if anyone ever sent me one - single or otherwise. Who thinks "oh, I know, I'll send out photos of myself"? Well, apart from the Royal family (traditionally, Prince Charles and his boys pose for their annual official Christmas card, and Di used to do the same with the boys too. They also did when they were married. Charles' amusing 1995 photocard here: http://everythingroyal.com/christmascard13b.jpg).

Bathwater said...

I wonder what other thing single people are not supposed to do? I wouldn't want to break any rules.

Doesn't matter I really don't like those type of cards anyway. The only cards I will send are ones I make myself and those are few and far between anymore.

dont eat the token said...

I love this post!

Do it, a photo card next year. I'm pretty sure I sent out one of me and my cat alone one time. And another time I wrote a poem and loved it until my mom's husband made a dirty joke about me using the word "lust" (it means you desire something fucker!).

I've never done the letter, though I'm sure I will some day.

So for your photo card, if you aren't sure what to do and don't want a typical "sears portrait studio" photo I highly recommend something wild and crazy that defines you and your life - a cool action shot.

Anyway.. I'm rambling. Love your new feelings on life! Yay!

SuvvyGirl said...

Merry Christmas!

Bathwater said...

Merry Christmas Sarah!

SarBella said...

I think that this blog can pertain to everyone, single or in a relationship. Live your life "permanently and unapologetically" and you will have no regrets in the end! Unspoken rules are for those who fear of being outside the norm, but really what is normal? Boring.. safe.. and fearful of others opinions.

Live each day outside the box, and live each day for yourself!

Anonymous said...

You are very talented and I love your blog, read very many of your posts (would have read all if you had not been writing for so long). I wish you all the happiness in the world for the new year

Sultana said...

Hope you had a great Christmas Sara!!!

Arwen said...

Happy New Year! I think 2010 is going to be great :)

Paige Jennifer said...

That's bunk. Bunk that should be filed under 'Archaic Rules That Should Go Away.'

Listen, being part of a couple rocks (when it's healthy and equal and works). But being single is pretty fucking awesome. I'm way better off being single where I am than together with anyone from my past.

Just promise me I make the mailing list for your 2010 card!

Anonymous said...

Keep posting stuff like this i really like it


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