~Thursday, March 11, 2010


If there was a memo sent around about it, I didn't get it.

Somehow, some time, all of my girlfriends from college decided to get in shape. Harvey had been a runner since meeting her track-star husband and I had been long ignoring that aspect of her. But somehow everyone else joined the running band wagon.

I think it all started when Katie bought a house last summer. She had been saving for years and finally purchased her own place without help or assistance from anyone else. It is almost scientific fact that when you get your finances in order, you body follows suit. So Katie bought a house and almost immediately began shedding pounds. She was neither skinny nor fat before; she was just the fun-loving friend of the group. Now, she is skinny and tiny and hot. She says things like, "I met with my personal trainer at 6 am and got in a good workout before work."

So Katie's sister Jenna, not to be outdone by Katie, also signed up for a personal trainer and says things like, "I workout twice a day."

Another friend set her wedding date and bought a pair of running shoes in the same breath.

And stupid Harvey with her stupid body had always been stupid running.

We meet for happy hours and everyone talks about what races they are running together. What races are scheduled when and who can make what race. Excuse me? I thought our main activity was beer pong supplemented by more beer. And now everyone is tiny and hot and I'm still "the indoor girl." Hmph.


Last Friday night I was out with the girl getting married, her fiance, and their single guy friend. The single guy friend stops after 2 drinks, saying he's running a 10k in the morning. The girl getting married isn't drinking at all and talking about a 5k she has planned in April.

She turns to me, "Sarah, you should do it too because it's sponsored by [local brewery] and you get free beer afterwards."

Everyone's talking about running all the time and I feel left out. I want to talk like a runner too. I rotate my third beer, feeling intoxicated and a little cocky because the single guy and I have been getting along. "How many miles is a 5k?" I ask, feigning interest.

"3.1" everybody answers in unison.

I yawn and stretch, "That's not that big of a deal. Sure, I'll run that race with you." I winked at the group, "I'm easily swayed by free beer."

The topic (finally!) left running.


Monday morning I open my e-mail. I'm surprised there is a message from the boy I met on Friday.

"It was great meeting you," it read. "I've decided to also run the [Brewery] 5k."



This indoor girl.


Curvy Jones said...


Oh, honey.

kristin said...

hahahaha. i love it! ANYBODY CAN RUN! and i am def the girl going out these days and refraining from my beloved beer in order to shed the el bees. damn me.

Anonymous said...

Hahah, that's hilarious. You can do it! I was going to train this year but my knee acts up if I run on pavement. You can use that excuse if you want. :)

AndyPrivate said...

BOO! Go lift weights, and then tell weird single running guy that you could strap him to your back and squat him.

Delicieux said...

Start with the elliptical and then work your way to the treadmill. I like to "hide" the time, it helps me go for longer.

On a funnier note, I went to the gym yesterday to find 3 dudes (seemingly straight) watching The Devil Wears Prada. It was odd. Really odd.

Good luck! I'll be rootin' for ya!

Em Static said...

Training? Pffft! I say you go to the marathon, keep close to single guy, then faint so he can come to your rescue.

But I'm an old fashioned gal. Damsel in distress gets 'em every time. ;)

Anonymous said...

Girl! It happened to me! I used to be WiscoBlonde and now I'm RunningBlonde! Let me know if you need any training tips; I also ran my first 5K completely randomly!

2 Drink Girl said...

Oh Kristin...how wrong you are. Not everyone can run. I can't run. I have weak ankles or something similar. I get over 5 mph on the threadmill, and suddenly the treadmill is on top of me. I roll my ankle walking to the bathroom.

I'm a water-baby, always have been. I can swim a mile faster than I can run it.

Good for you, Sarah, for being tricked into getting in shape. I only wish I had that kind of fire under my ass. As it is, I can barely get a workout in before bed. And that workout consists of Just Dance.

And I'm not kidding.

2 Drink Girl said...

and I'm not sure why treadmill came out as threadmill the first time. I'm weird.

TexInTheCity said...

Scheisse! Scheisse! Scheisse! Run, Sarah! Run!

Miss Devylish said...

Ok I hate your friend Katie. And I hate her sister even more. And no it's not that long a race.. but April? As in, next month? I'm all supportive - don't think I'm not - knock yourself out sugar.. but I've got the running crack friends too and fuck no I'm not joining them. I mean, I'll drink w/ them after, but dear God, hell no, NOT racing. :) xo

Anne said...

Hey Sarah

I have, so far, been a lurker here on your blog - I've read it a few months.

I wanted to give you two tips, regarding that race:
Don't compete against anyone but yourself
It's okay to walk

If you're not up for running the entire 5k, run two, then walk some, and run again. Or whatever feels right. That's no shame at all - most people walk a lot in the beginning :)

Best of luck!

nuttycow said...

It'll be fine. Even I, in my fat state have managed to run 5k (and beer at the end? Excellent idea!). Take it slow to start with, 1k, 2k, 3k etc and slowly build up. Don't race your friends... race yourself.

Syd said...

Check out the Couch to 5k programs (it's run walking to build yourself up). I bet your general fitness level is better than you imagine, so you may not have to start at the beginning, but it definitely helps. That's how I got my start.

Just don't worry about speed or anyone else. There will always be someone behind you.

Anonymous said...

Big Peach Running Co is a good place to buy shoes.

Me said...

LOL awesome.

Lpeg said...

Hahaha bummer! I mean, if you get the desire to run and get in shape, then great for you. I'm with 2 Drink Girl - I can't run for shit. Crap knees, and I've been a swimmer my entire life.

But good for you if you can actually run it! Have fun training!! :)

Curvy Jones said...

Yeah I can't run either. The rockin' rack is not fond of all of that movement and I can trip over a crack in the sidewalk. Or nothing. Buttuhmmmmm I'll support you and meet you for a drink and like... an entire COW when you're done!

You know what is 3 miles exactly? The path around Chastain Park. I've walked it but never ran it. And I'd offer to run it with you but I don't run, so.......

Anonymous said...

Get in there! :)

Aritza, Goddess of .. said...

Puahahahahaa, good luck with that !

Excuse me, I mean, go girl, show those skinny bitches what the indoor girl can do ! And then, down a few a beers in honor of all the indoor girls out there (i.e. ME).

Bathwater said...

Well if I was the new guy, you could impress me just as well with a quick sprint to the beer tent at the end of the race. Who has all this time for running. Slow down for gods sake and smell the roses ;).

Anonymous said...

New reader here. :)

Ha, I think I need to start running to get in shape again. I hate it though, and having asthma does not help...

Paige Jennifer said...

I'm sorry but you are such a royal dumbass (says the laughing girl who buys really expensive trail running sneakers to run errands).

I once "ran" a 5k. I wasn't the last to finish. I mean, I managed to pass a seven year old (yes, she was running with her dad who was pushing a stroller). And the only reason I passed her was because we had to cross a busy four-lane road and the cop held traffic for me but the dad wanted his little girl to wait for him. EAT MY DIRT, LITTLE GIRL (who probably would have beat me were it not for her over protective dad).

Anyway, if this asthma induced sloth can do a 5k, you can too!

Anonymous said...


delurking because this post is happy

DianaL said...

Watch Run Fat Boy Run, it shows anyone can run a marathon!

twononblondes said...

First, I totally have this friend who I used to drink margs and eat chips and queso with on the daily who now says things like "I can't drink margaritas today bc I have to meet with my trainer today, want to come?" so I totally understand.

Second, my crazy friends tried to convince me to run a half marathon and luckily I got swine flu and it ruined my training schedule. Go me.


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