~Wednesday, May 12, 2010

The Non-Date Thing


You want to know a secret?

Lean closer.

I have a "thing" with 5k Guy this Saturday. It's called a "thing" or a "gathering" or a "get together" because I don't know what it is. I guess if I don't know what it is, then it's in the non-date category. Henceforth it shall be named, "non-date thing".

I e-mailed 5k Guy. Since he had made a list on my Facebook profile of all the things on my 30 before 30 list that he could help me with, I asked him if I could take him up on one of those (#20, Learn to change a tire) and then take him out to lunch as a thank you. Fail-safe, right? I was proud of myself.

Except he responds that he can't accept lunch as a thank you, "Think along the lines of #6 (but not a stranger), but we can do lunch after."

Well WTF does that mean? Does it mean he wants to take me to lunch, or does it mean I'm dealing with a good samaritan cub scout here?

So the day is set and I wait another week to contact him, unsure if I even should because I did the asking, but he's the guy. And besides, so far this is a "non-date thing". I ask if he is still interested and if so what time and place. He writes he still wants to commence the non-date thing on Saturday, but he gives me an hour and a half time-slot because he also has plans in another city.

Did he just give me a buffer in case things go badly?

Whatever. I'm 29 and am too old and should be too mature to waste my time decoding guy language. Besides, this is a NON-DATE THING.

So let's discuss all the ways in which I screwed myself:
  1. I chose the activity. I chose to freaking change a tire. This seemed like a good idea right up until I spent a New York-minute thinking about dress. I can't wear anything cute or nice, hence elevating my non-date thing into a date-ish thing, because it's going to involve me with my knees on the pavement and touching car grease. It's not exactly a situation where I can bust out the Rock and Republic jeans (also fail-safe) and a cute top. If I were changing a tire, normally I would wear my 4-year-old Lucky jeans with the ripped knee and the hole in the ass. It's not exactly a hole, but it's worn so thin that it's just horizontal strings from one side to the other and it's about the size of my palm and it's sheer enough to clearly display the color of my undie's, if not a palm-sized picture of it. My only other option is my stone-washed Old Navy's and, oh my god, I don't even wear those out in public.

  2. And it's not like I can buy one of those iron-on patches for the ass hole because it's on the seat of the pants and not the pocket, so it would look like I was pooping a flower or peace sign or whatever those iron-on patches come as. I was thinking a long t-shirt that would hide the ass cheek, but let's face it, when you are squatting on the ground, your ass is going to hang out no matter how long your shirt is.
And that's the most I have ever written about a pair of pants.


Curvy Jones said...

Bike shorts under the Luckie jeans with the hole in the ass? Yeah I don't know. Maybe you just need a cheap pair of jeans.

anna said...

ummmm...ask if you can skip the tire change and just have lunch...
you know, because the tire think might take longer than he has...


whatever you do, make sure you wear something that you feel attractive in. washing machines do amazing things these days....

can't wait to hear all about it!

Bathwater said...

I'm so with you Sarah, yesterday before my 4 am drama I want and workout with a girl who I was think thought of me as a "friend", now I'm think I have been clueless and she likes me likes me:).

It only takes 10 minutes to change a tire. So don't cancel that part.

Breeza said...

Make him change the tire and just observe? Do you have leggings or something along those lines?
Sounds like fun!! Can't wait to read how it went.

Miss Devylish said...

You crack me up. I think have lunch prior to tire changing and do the tire changing at your house so you can change. I'm so smart! :) Hope it went/goes well! Dying to hear! xo

Jason said...

I think showing that you're grubbed up and totally willing to get dirty would be cute. And maybe the hole in the ass would be cute?

As a guy, unless I was totally naive, I would assume that you just want to watch ME change a tire, and expect to do all of the work.

erin said...

Hey! I don't remember if I've commented before- but as a regular reader and someone who has had (and I'm not exaggerating) over 15 flat tires in the past 2 years and has changed them all myself- wear the R&R jeans and a cute top! I've had to change tires in dresses- it seriously takes 10 minutes, 20 max. Just as long as you're able to wash your hands afterwards, you'll be fine :)

Peach said...

hey wear the prettiest little dress - it's not a huge dirty deal changing a tyre - you only get your hands a little mucky :-)

ps he looks cute - I checked him out on FB - wooo hooooo go go go

Tex In The City said...

I vote for grubby and then a quick quick change. Shows that you are willing to get down and dirty but can still pull off the unexpected WOW!

Also, no matter what...wear sexy undies. You will feel like a million bucks and it will give you a biyt of a swagger.

(insert kitty purr)

Anonymous said...

Oh Sarah... you do so make me laugh. It doesn't take a long time to change a tyre but be practical about your clothing... just in case.

You can look pretty and practical... and bring out the killer cuteness when you are on a date thing rather than a non-date thing :) x

Lpeg said...

hahah I like Jason's thinking - you can just observe!

It doesn't take long to change a tire, so I wouldn't worry about dressing too grubby. jeans and a cute top is my vote! Good luck!!!

Syd said...

Yeah, it's more your hands that get dirty than anything else. I've changed a tire in tights and a dress, and didn't get all grubby.

DianaL said...

i say tshirt and jeans and low heals. go for that cute and casual look. OR dress up more than he'll be expecting and tell him you have plans after.

dont eat the token said...

Hey, someone wrote two whole movies based on pants - that travel...

Anyway, if there are sparks there will be sparks even if you're in shitty clothes and have grease on your face :)

Have fun!

P.S. you can iron those patches on in the inside of the pants, they also sell it in bluejean color. Jukebox does this to all his work jeans.


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