~Tuesday, November 23, 2010


The summary of Date #6 is forthcoming, but I don't feel well and I don't feel like doing it right now. I think I have the beginnings of a cold and I'm preparing to leave town tomorrow after work for Thanksgiving.

In case my feelings on Thanksgiving are not widely documented, I hate this damn holiday. I'm like Chandler from Friends. I have never had a good Thanksgiving. The reasons vary:

  • I am a child of divorce, so Thanksgiving usually means I'm in the car and crossing the state so I can eat with both my mother and my father's family. There's no stability, no relaxing, no football and no beer.

  • I'm forced to spend time with my extended family, but it's not a religious holiday, so no one is on good behavior. The last several Thanksgivings at my father's house, I have shed tears because I have felt attacked over financial, political and sociological differences.

  • On a related note, sometimes my siblings can be assholes. I'll never forget the moment when I came home for Thanksgiving in college with several copies of the newspaper I was writing for and distributed my article to the relatives. My brother read it and said, "I guess news writing is different than real writing." Asshole!

  • My grandmother has been terminally ill for the last year, which means I haven't seen my mother for any holiday, including Thanksgivings.

This Thanksgiving I will be driving 1,000 miles round trip to sit in the nursing home (soon to be hospice care on Monday) with my grandmother for 2 days while she is approaching the final stages of cancer. You can tell me I'm being a good child, but really I'm being selfish. I'd rather have my Thanksgiving ruined instead of my Christmas, so I'm going now and not then. I'm also going to be sibling- and extended family-free.

My mom called yesterday and asked if I wanted her to buy a turkey for Thanksgiving. It's just going to be the two of us at the farm house.

"No, I'd rather not."


"Why keep up the pretense that this is going to be a fun holiday? We both know what it really is. It's keeping vigil in a nursing home and smelling pee for 2 days straight. I'd rather not carry on a charade that we're there to celebrate. I packed a bottle of gin; I got all I need."

To which my mom said, "Gin is a summer drink."

"It's got juniper in it. Just think pine needles and Christmas trees."

"I'll get the tonic water."


Anonymous said...

Sorry to hear about your grandma. And I hope you're able to have a teeny bit of relaxation time this weekend. x

Anonymous said...

Like breezy - sorry to hear about your grandmother. I admire that you just 'came out' to your mother and said it is what it is and lets not pretend. I think it's cool of your mom to get tonic water, though! Hang tough, girl!

however happy said...

You are doing the right thing! Also sorry to hear about your grandmother. :-/

And I'm with ya on the despising Thanksgiving thing...I can't stand it! I chose to fly to TX this year on Thanksgiving day to avoid as much as possible.

Bathwater said...

Yes I hate the whole season from Thanksgiving giving till after New Years. I haven't enjoyed it in years. I'm planning on being alone on Thanksgiving that is the best way I can think of to spend it.

Les In Tex said...

I don't really care for the holidays so I feel your pain. I am sorry to hear about grandma, you and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

On a much lighter note...I have JUST rediscovered my love of GIN! Hendricks is my gin baby daddy! LOL

Gobble Gobble,

Anonymous said...

Sorry to hear about your grandmother.
There's not much one can say to comfort at a time like this.
I did find your description of gin absolutely accurate. I've said it tastes like christmas trees for years.

All the best. Sending you peaceful vibes.

treacle said...

I too, am sorry to hear about your grandmother Sarah.

Hope that you get through the weekend ok xxx

B. Good said...

Best wishes to you, your mom, and your grandmother.

I'm having Gin & Tonic for Thanksgiving as well.


franzi said...

sorry to hear about your grandma. be strong girl!

you're a gin tonic drinker also? way to go :-)

Anonymous said...

I can understand why you dislike Thanksgiving...sounds like your family kind of forgets what it's really supposed to be about.

I'm having issues with mine this year a bit. It's the first one in 7 years I've spent without Tim and Isaiah...but oddly I'm okay with that. Tim on the other hand is not and has been laying it on thick trying to get me to his house for Thanksgiving instead of going to my family's which is where I'd like to be...I'm being guilted basically. So drink some gin for me as well.

You and your grandma are in my thoughts...I hope she can go as peacefully as one can in a situation like that.

J said...

Safe travels! Thinking of you and your family.

Lpeg said...

Sorry about your gram. At least your mom sounds like she's on the same page.

Hope you had a better Thanksgiving than how you thought it would turn out. xx.

cornflakegirl74 said...

Awwww, I'm sorry to hear your Thanksgiving wasn't the best, but I'm glad to see you're looking at the bright side of things. I'm also sorry to hear about your grandma.

I'm not a big fan of the holidays either. Thanksgiving is okay, because I get to spend it with all the crazies in the family, but Christmas is always very quiet. Definitely not the big, happy family depicted in the movies.

I hope you have a better Christmas. XOXO


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