The summary of Date #6 is forthcoming, but I don't feel well and I don't feel like doing it right now. I think I have the beginnings of a cold and I'm preparing to leave town tomorrow after work for Thanksgiving.
In case my feelings on Thanksgiving are not widely documented, I hate this damn holiday. I'm like Chandler from Friends. I have never had a good Thanksgiving. The reasons vary:
- I am a child of divorce, so Thanksgiving usually means I'm in the car and crossing the state so I can eat with both my mother and my father's family. There's no stability, no relaxing, no football and no beer.
- I'm forced to spend time with my extended family, but it's not a religious holiday, so no one is on good behavior. The last several Thanksgivings at my father's house, I have shed tears because I have felt attacked over financial, political and sociological differences.
- On a related note, sometimes my siblings can be assholes. I'll never forget the moment when I came home for Thanksgiving in college with several copies of the newspaper I was writing for and distributed my article to the relatives. My brother read it and said, "I guess news writing is different than real writing." Asshole!
- My grandmother has been terminally ill for the last year, which means I haven't seen my mother for any holiday, including Thanksgivings.
This Thanksgiving I will be driving 1,000 miles round trip to sit in the nursing home (soon to be hospice care on Monday) with my grandmother for 2 days while she is approaching the final stages of cancer. You can tell me I'm being a good child, but really I'm being selfish. I'd rather have my Thanksgiving ruined instead of my Christmas, so I'm going now and not then. I'm also going to be sibling- and extended family-free.
My mom called yesterday and asked if I wanted her to buy a turkey for Thanksgiving. It's just going to be the two of us at the farm house.
"No, I'd rather not."
"Why keep up the pretense that this is going to be a fun holiday? We both know what it really is. It's keeping vigil in a nursing home and smelling pee for 2 days straight. I'd rather not carry on a charade that we're there to celebrate. I packed a bottle of gin; I got all I need."
To which my mom said, "Gin is a summer drink."
"It's got juniper in it. Just think pine needles and Christmas trees."
"I'll get the tonic water."