~Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Government Mule vs. Valdosta

After 8 years of working and going to college part time, Swayze finally got his degree. We're all very proud of our last man standing. In honor of his accomplishment, and for our love of theme parties, I threw a party Saturday night.

I called it an Eskimo party and held it on the roof of my building. To be honest, it was the best party I've ever thrown. I made 4 gallons of hunch punch, ordered a ton of pizza, bought enough beer for flip cup, served vodka out of shot glasses made entirely of ice, wrapped up a bunch of whammy white-elephant gifts and plugged in the Wii.

I also invited Valdosta.

I had seen my group of friends the previous night at Government Mule's house where we'd gotten together to play Rock Band. I told them all that he was coming and that I really liked this one, and please let's all be on good behavior. That meant no comments about how much or how many people I date, no comments about the sex story about The Hungarian that I told, and no razzing Valdosta like they had done with Memphis.

"I don't want to make a single mistake with this one," I explained. They conceded. And then they spent the next hour thinking up a nickname for him because we already have a person in our group with the same name as Valdosta.

The party gods blessed my party by having the first four people arrive at exactly the same minute. God bless punctual friends. Valdosta helped me mix the hunch punch and met everyone. He immediately asked everyone if these were the people I play dodgeball with. I think he's intrigued and plans on coming to a game in the next couple of weeks.

"I don't think I could just sit there and watch you get roughed up," he said.

"Oh, you won't be sitting. You'll be playing," I informed him. "I'm going to need you to bring your game face." Being a hockey player, Valdosta is built pretty solidly and would make a good ringer. Maybe then we'll stop getting our asses kicked and I can go to a game and not leave limping.

We headed up to the roof with The Femme Fatale, a sled dog who fit perfectly into my Eskimo party theme. I handed out glow bracelets to help with the lighting. Valdosta chose an orange one in honor of UT, and Government Mule grabbed it out of his hand and threw it over the roof. Harvey's husband grabbed two and stuck them in his wool hat as antennae. We played several rounds of flip cup. My team lost. Schmoozer was on the opposing team and he wasn't kidding when he told me that first day I met him that he was a flip cup champion.

With every glass of hunch punch, Valdosta's nickname kept getting shortened by my friends. Eventually it was shortened down to a single sound. Not even a syllable. He was a good sport about it. He was, until, Government Mule started calling him Pledge.

I know my friends are close knit. I know we don't let in outsiders easily. Schmoozer went through some teasing because he was being let in as a friend. That shouldn't be the same with Valdosta though. Valdosta was coming in as my love interest. That should be a free pass. And it was with everyone but GM.

At one point Valdosta went to stand on my balcony. As he shut the door behind him, GM locked the door.

There was a point in time when Government Mule and I were really close. And there are times presently when we still flirt back and forth. But the friendship line has clearly been drawn: Jenna has developed feelings for him. I'm half-convinced that they are already seeing each other and just won't admit it to the rest of us. Bottom line is, I don't understand why Government Mule would have any investment in teasing Valdosta.

The hunch punch worked. It did the same number on me that it did in Jacksonville. I tried to take a bow and lost my sense of balance and toppled over in my living room. I'm covered in bruises that I don't even know how I earned.

Everyone left; Valdosta stayed behind. He told me several times what a good time he had and how he was glad he came. We had a bit of a drunken heart to heart on the couch (to be written about later). Then we climbed into my bed where I told him I had missed him, which now that I'm sober, I'm horrified that I said that.

"I like having you in my bed," I slurred.

"I like you having me in your bed," he mumbled back. "Let's go ice skating tomorrow."



AmericanBridget (Jones) said...

Ok so can I live vicariously through you? You have 3 men at your party that at one time or another you've been interested in? GM, Val and KB Guy? Wow! You are truly a brave soul. You should send me some advice on how to date so that I don't end up with my awful match.com profile matches that will never pan out to be anything. Rock it!

breezyallatsea said...

That is odd behavior. But props to V for putting up with it and for not reacting to GM. He's a good catch I think!

however happy said...

Sometimes even our best of friends can react a bit jealous when we find a kind of "success," whether it be a new higher paying job, scoring a kick-ass new place or in your case, a relationship.

You know how when you hear about someone getting engaged, and (if you're like most people), you are happy for them but it mostly just makes you feel bad about yourself (if you're single and wanting to get married)? It might just be like that. I'd be surprised if GM acts like that for long. He'll get over it!

Curvy Jones said...

Aw, he's jealous. It's the old, "I don't want you, but I'm happier when you're single so you can pine over me." Men are funny.

preciousandpriceless said...

what a fricking fun party! I love it when the party gods align.

don't deal with memphis...but thank you for that negotiating insight. [yes i'm catching up]

So is Valdosta now just "V"?

you may be toast...but enjoy it :) love with your heart.

bonda84 said...

You could start referring him to Government Ass :-P Your party sounds completely amazing...I can only dream of having parties like that. I can't wait to read more about this guy...these posts give off warm fuzzies :)

Sarah said...


J said...

I have said it before, I think GM has a thing for you. He may never act on it and it may all be subconcious but it is still there.

I am really liking the sound of Valdosta.

Dream in Grey said...

I wanna come to your parties!

stuff GM I like Valdosta (or the V man as i shall now refer to him in my head). He seems like good people

Anonymous said...

fun party :)

I think telling Valdosta that you missed him is okay.



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