~Thursday, March 17, 2011

Spring Forward

With daylight savings time change, the running trail also switched from night to day. Whereas the after-work crowd was hot but sparse, Monday the trail was a bounty of beautiful, beautiful men.

Jenna and I hit a lazy jog and worked our way through just 2 miles of the course. Since she's officially in a relationship with Government Mule (she accepted his Facebook relationship request last week), I claim dibs on all the pretty boys.

We've developed a pattern: run with one earbud in, leaving the other ear open for commentary. I adopted the ancient Roman gladiator method of ranking the runners: a solid thumbs up when one passes us.

"I've been thinking," I puffed. "I'm not a good enough runner to be approached by one of these guys; it's not like he's going to slow his pace and sidle up next to me and say, 'Nice form.' I think the only shot I have is to fake an injury."

"Ha!" she laughed. "You know that fire station in front of my townhome? My friend told me to lay in their driveway with an 'injury' to get the firefighters' attention."

Another yummy one passed us. I stuck my thumb up.

"Maybe you should push me down. Make it look more realistic."

"She was beating me!" Jenna faux exclaimed.

Just then, the yummyest one I've seen by far passed us. I crossed over in front of Jenna and came to a dead stop. "Push me down!," I hissed. "Push me down!"

Jenna bumped into me as she tried to stop. She broke out into a fit of giggles. "It's too late! It's too late! He's already in front of us!"

"Yeah, my luck that guy would stop to help me."

Approaching from the other side of the woods was a middle-aged man walking with a full-size Macaw perched on his shoulder. The parrot was so large that its tail feathers trailed all the way down to the man's knees. As we passed them we crinkled our noses, not from the stench of the bird, but from the sheer amount of cologne the man was wearing.

I'm looking forward to spring.

6 comments:

MissM said...

My gawd. Only here. Only. Here. LOL!!

bonda84 said...

Hope he didn't asphyxiate the poor bird with his cologne.

jo said...

hahaha! brilliant! my best friend and i have long joked (possibly due to our clutziness) that perhaps we'd meet our dream guys by literally falling in front of them. i wonder why there aren't ever any cute guys when i run...

Paige Jennifer said...

This clearly isn't the trail by my sister's house - Chastain. That one is littered with tri-athlete hotties. Oh, and bitches with sick bods and stellar racks. But you'd never see a middle-aged man with a macaw on his shoulder.

You know, for a millisecond of time, this post made me want to take up running. I'd be happy to make you wipe out for the sake of finding love! Then I came to my senses. I'll be the sloth on the side of the path swigging water and sneering at babies in their strollers.

Bathwater said...

You are too funny Sarah, somebody has got to come pick up off the ground and rescue you for sure!

Anonymous said...

As a runner - albeit not in your country - let me tell you, once I'm started, I'm not going to stop until the end of my run, especially if I'm timing it. Go out, go hard...or go home. But y'know - we all stop at the end, we stretch and cool down...and chat. Find out where they finish, and time your run to turn up just after they've stopped. Comment on their good run/pace/form, ask them where they get their shoes/hydration pack/socks/whatever, ask about the route they took (you're looking for a different or longer trail/path/course....); most people are happy to talk about a shared interest. Afterwards!

C, Sydney, Au

 

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