Double, Double, Toil and Trouble

If it was me, I would want someone to come up to me and ask how I was doing after I got dumped. In the end, that's not what I chose though. I chose to not speak unless spoken to.

And no one ever spoke about it.

After being at the beach house a few days, I approached Harvey when we were both alone:

"Has Katie said anything?"

Harvey paused, thinking about how much she wanted to reveal to me. I noticed. I saw the gears spinning behind her eyes and I was horrified. Harvey, my good friend for the last 9 years, debated whether to trust me or not. It hurt.

"She told me on the ride up," she finally said.

Through Harvey, I heard Katie's version. She decided the relationship was over as soon as Schmoozer left the Mexican restaurant to get coffee with me. She said after that incident, she purposely didn't contact him for a week to gauge how Schmoozer would react (this matches his version; he told me at the bar that he hadn't spoken to her in a week.) She said she always knew the relationship was one that would not progress very far. And then she gave her blessing for me to date him if I really liked him.

What?

Harvey continued. Harvey said that the people out at the Mexican restaurant that night thought Schmoozer and I were together because we arrived late, talked about running and left at the same time.

I became irritated. I internalized all of that drama. I didn't call Harvey crying after Government Mule and I had it out. I kept it separate from the group and called my mommy. Katie and Government Mule and Jenna and now Harvey—it is starting to feel like a witch hunt.

I felt myself explaining myself to Harvey as I did to Government Mule and Katie. I ran five miles for the very first time in the history of the world and I was tired. And they were drunk. And loud. It was an impromptu moment in which I said yes to coffee on a Friday Night. Big fugging deal.

Let me now remind the room that when Katie and Schmoozer started dating, I went to her and told her I didn't feel comfortable talking to Schmoozer anymore because they were now dating, and Katie comforted me and expressly stated that I was friends with him first and it would be okay to maintain that friendship.

I'm irritated and I'm hurt. I'm irritated that coffee became the Great Coffee Fiasco of 2011. I'm also hurt because of the group, no one came to my defense. No one thought enough of me that I wouldn't steal Katie's only boyfriend of the last five years. I wouldn't do that to her.

Schmoozer expressed interest in her—refering to her as "the pretty one"—when he and I went out on the not-a-date. And if Schmoozer ever did make a move—not that I expect him to—I would never forget that. Katie was the pretty one. Katie was the girl he chose. I would be the second choice, and my self-esteem isn't high enough where I would ever be okay with that.

Truth is Schmoozer and I are like peas and carrots: we just get along really well together. We have similar personalities and similar perspectives. We have the same dating style. We have similar financials. We both venture out of our comfort zones; that's how we found each other. We are highly compatible.

"Schmoozer," Harvey spat. "I don't trust him as far as I can throw him. I don't know where he came from; he joined our group out of nowhere. I've never met his friends. His roommates are a weird couple that doesn't have any friends. He changes major cities every three to four years. I don't trust him."

Harvey was angry and clearly siding with her friend. Her friend Katie.

"Do you still go running with him?" she asked.

I chose not to mention the happy hours and the nights at the bar and the parties we've been to in addition to running. I chose to not mention that I've met Schmoozer's other friends, as had Mel. Facebook would display that I'm now friends with them as well.

"Uh, I randomly went running last week and he was at the trail as well," I admitted.

Harvey said nothing.

And neither did Katie. Besides Harvey, Katie hadn't told anyone else about the breakup.