~Monday, November 08, 2010

Schmoozer

Friday night I was carrying a few packages and my dry cleaning waiting for me at my building's front desk and tugging my dog's leash behind me as I tried to navigate my way into the elevator. My phone chimed. The doors of the elevator closed and I balanced a box on my knee as I fished my phone out. It was Schmoozer.

"Are you going to the kickball league party tomorrow night?" he asked.

"Sure am." I texted back.

"Excellent! Do you have any plans tonight?"

My plans were to sit in my jammies and knit while I attempted to clear some shows off of the TiVo. I've been so busy the past couple of months that my TiVo is near capacity.

Then my phone rang. It was Schmoozer. So he did know better than to ask a girl out via text message.

"What do you have in mind?" I asked.

"Beer and darts."

I was nowhere near a mirror, but I knew I looked confused. "Sorry, I don't know of a single place that has darts. It's just not on my radar."

"You've never played darts?" he exclaimed.

"Nope."

"Okay, how about an Irish pub?"

"That, I know." Since he doesn't know the city very well, I chose the most popular Irish pub that's frequented by socialites and wannabes alike.

We set a time. The outfit I had designated for him to see me in at the league party just got bumped up to tonight. I'd have time to shop in the morning for a new dress to wear on Saturday. Thank god my dry cleaning was ready. It was important for me to look good, not only because of where we were going, but Schmoozer has only previously seen me in knee-high soccer socks and a bright yellow team t-shirt and a pony tail. By the end of the games, I'm bright red and a little sweaty with my cowlicks falling out of remission. I can look better than he's seen me.

Schmoozer then picked me up at my apartment door. I grabbed a couple of beers out of the fridge and took him to the rooftop terrace for a view of the city. He was impressed. He told me he owns a home in the suburbs that has too many rooms. He rents one of those out. He said his mother pushed him into that house because it was a foreclosure and the house was big enough for a family.

We climbed in his car and I gave him directions to the pub. I looked to shove my apartment card and keys in his door, but it was filled with stuff. I looked around helplessly. My keys don't fit in my wristlet. Finally, I opened his glove box.

"What are you doing?" he asked, surprised.

"Hiding my keys. I don't want to take them with me; it'll create an unsightly bulge. Can't have that."

"Whoa. I know we play kickball, but it's too soon for 'unsightly bulges.'"

"I know. That's why the keys are in your glove box," I smiled.

At the pub, Schmoozer was again impressed. "Have you seen this place? Wow!" he said as he looked around at the wrought iron and the display cases.

"Can you believe we got free parking?" I asked back. "On the street in front of the pub no less!"

"I can't believe you're impressed with the free parking as much as I'm impressed with the place," he retorted. "City girl."

I told him about the history of the pub as the Buckhead Betties filed in. "Buckhead Betty" is a term used to describe a vapid uptown girl dressed in designer couture. We talked about stocks, local breweries and travelling. He told me next time he went to San Fransisco, he'd take me. He also was planning a road trip on Thanksgiving and asked my plans. He seemed forward. We found out that our office buildings are next to each other, and he passed me his business card. "E-mail me and we'll have lunch."

Our second beers arrived. "So how often do you hang out with the people from kickball?" he asked me.

"Couple of times a week."

"Oh, so you are close."

"The closest."

"Harvey seems fun."

"She is. But her husband got drunk two weeks ago and that was the funniest thing I had seen in awhile."

"And then there's the single mom..."

"Yeah, that's Katie's roommate." He looked confused. "Katie is the one in the cast," I added, holding up my wrist.

"The gimp!" He laughed. "Yeah, she's the pretty one."

You know the sound of a needle scratching off the record? That just happened. I smiled. I smiled big to compensate for my What the fuck? that was screaming through my head like a freight train. I didn't know what to do, so I just kept smiling like a clown.

"Oh, no! Don't set us up!" he said in response to my frozen ultra smile. "I just broke up with someone today."

"You did?"

"Yeah, it wasn't anything special. We had been dating about a month and I called her and told her I didn't want to see her anymore."

"Was she upset?"

"No, she seemed just as fine with it as I was."

I pieced the details together and figured out that the night I called Schmoozer to invite him to Harvey's, he was going out with her for her 30th birthday. Only he was very specific and had described her to me as a friend.

Let me just take a time out in the story here. It was Friday night and a guy calls me up to get together. He didn't ask what my friends were doing; he didn't even bring them up until about halfway through the conversation. A guy does not call a girl he doesn't know well on a Friday night unless there is some interest. Despite everything that just happened, I am going to maintain that. If he was looking for friends, or my friends, he would have waited for a group invite or invited me on a Saturday afternoon or Tuesday evening. Besides, we still had two more get togethers through kickball.

The conversation kept flowing, but he circled it back around. "So where's your guy," he asked.

Why would he be asking me about my guy when he just said my friend was pretty? "There is no guy," I shrugged.

"But you do date, right?"

"Yeah, I date." I took a sip of my beer. "I had a date on Monday."

He did a double take. I told him it was a bad date. "Well, tell me why so I know not to do that."

I described the date to him.

"How did you meet?" he asked.

I took another sip of my beer and decided just how honest I should be. "eHarmony."

"You know, I tried that site once and it came back that there were no matches for me. It said I was undateable," he laughed.

I couldn't decide if my disclosure was a good or a bad thing. We got back in his car. On the ride home, I realized I was drunk. I kept rubbing my hands up and down my tights for warmth.

"Are you not drunk?" I asked.

"Nope. We only had three beers."

"I know, but ompf." I had completely forgotten about the two glasses of wine I had before he came over, and then our beer on the roof. Six drinks. That's enough to mess me up pretty good.

He pulled in front of my building. "I'm going to let you out here."

"Okay!" I exclaimed, once again overcompensating. What is it about Katie? Christopher flirted with her, 5k Guy had a thing for her, and now Schmoozer told me she was pretty.

He unclasped his seat belt, presumably to get out of the car.

"OkaywellIhadagoodtimegoodnight!" I said hurriedly as I dashed out of the car before he had time to respond. I pushed the elevator button and didn't look back. I heard his car wait until the doors opened and I was safely inside before he pulled away.

***

Saturday evening I got a text message from Schmoozer. He took a run through the woods and fell and sprained his ankle. He wouldn't make the league party or the game on Sunday. I believe him; I don't think he was lying. We won the game.

24 comments:

Curvy Jones said...

Hm. HMMMMMMMMMMM. Dude, I don't know. But you know as I said, face value and things like that. Just... HMMMM.

V said...

(Don't underestimate the attractiveness of the sweaty, red-faced look...)

V said...

Sometimes there are no clear answers, just a mess of emotions. I don't think he knew what he was doing or wanting...his confusion was confusing...

Lpeg said...

Wow, interesting. I'd say he's interested.. but the pretty comment... I don't know. Then again, maybe that's how his friends talk about Katie? So maybe it was a slip up?

J said...

I think he is interested but not sure what he wants. Why do they have to be so confusing?

Sarah said...

Hmm, I think you are right, V. I don't think he knew what he wanted. He has since poked me on Facebook, which totally mystifies me because I didn't know that feature still existed after 2003.

Erin said...

I think he's into you. My guess about the pretty comment was that he just wasn't thinking. It's not uncommon for a guy to just blurt whatever their opinion is without thinking about whether it might be awkward or upsetting to a girl. Keep in mind, saying she is pretty does not equal saying you aren't. I'd take it as a compliment that he is comfortable around you instead of trying to say the right thing at the right time.

franzi said...

i'll stick to hmmmm and congrats on winning the game!

let's just see where life takes you and kickball guy's ankle.

yay to a nice evening and being tipsy ;-)

breezyallatsea said...

I'll say hmmm as well. And I agree with J.

Peach said...

He's interested, and dumped another girl because he met you. Did he ask Katie out? No, he asked you out.


tum tee tum to all you hmmmm-ers out there !

Bathwater said...

Okay yes, I agree with some of these comments, he did ask YOU out not Katie but he is making it very confusing when it seems like he could be a lot more straight forward.

I don't get it.

D said...

These signs are confusing...he asked you out and clearly likes you. I wonder what would've happened if you stayed in the car... ;)
If he just broke up with someone maybe he isn't ready to date yet.

packupthemoon said...

Yeah, I'm going to go with, "He likes you but he's confused."

I guess you can wait to find out what his next step is. I think that will be the really telling piece of the puzzle.

Anonymous said...

Overall I think it sounds like a good date.

-dont

nuttycow said...

Just because he thinks someone else is pretty, it doesn't mean that he thinks you *aren't* pretty.

See how it goes. Slowly.

M said...

hm... I don't know. I'd take it at face value. I wouldn't read anything more than what he's giving you! Men are confusing as all hell!

Hope said...

I've got to agree that the 'she's pretty' comment would have unnerved me too.

But then again, he called you, chose to hang out with you, not her. So there's that.

If you can, don't think of it one way or the other. If he's interested? He'll keep on keeping on.

(Also, the Facebook poke is SO confusing to me too. If you figure it out, will you let me know?)

Prettylittletangents said...

My response is OMG and WTF in that order. Followed by perhaps I will give him the benefit of doubt on his apparent lack of conversation-with-a-cute-girl savvy since he did just literally break up with someone. I'm with the others - just be chill and see where this goes. And don't go running in the woods ;)

trinity2 said...

I agree with you - a guy calls you up and asks you out - he interested - despite the offhand comment that Katie is pretty - despite the sprained ankle.

Kate said...

Everyone here seems to spend half their lives trying to analyse men's behaviour to discern whether they are romantically interested or not. Why? Don't you always know in the pit of your stomach when a man is truly interested? You don't need to construct a huge, elaborate scaffolding of a story around it.
And I think being put off by a man calling another woman pretty, even in these circumstances, is just insecurity.

Anonymous said...

He may not realize women consider weekend nights "bigger". He could be feeling things out for now. He might've mentioned Katie's attractiveness and not setting him up to let you know it wasn't a date. Or he could've been just checking your reaction to see your interest level. Or, he was just making an observation then said "Don't set us up" to let you know he wasn't trying to date Katie, even if she is pretty. My point? There's so many ways this could go. Keep dating, keep busy. If a man really wants you enough that he deserves to have you, he will let you know and let there be no confusion about it.

Klynne said...

Beware of this dude. It reeks of mind games to me.

cornflakegirl74 said...

I think he's interested in you, too. But he's a guy and is therefore blessed with the occasional "foot in mouth" syndrome. Maybe it was just something that slipped out by accident. I mean, he can find her attractive, doesn't mean he has a THING for her. I do get the impression he likes you.

And maybe (just maybe) he wanted to see how you would react if he said that??

Anonymous said...

Thanks a lot for writing this, it was unbelieveably informative and told me a ton.

 

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