~Tuesday, February 08, 2011

Lonely Like the Wolf

I've been lonely lately. The loneliness is an amalgamation of several factors:
  • Valdosta
  • The asexual group I once complained about is no longer asexual. Schmoozer and Katie are now dating, so is Government Mule and Jenna. I'm very happy for all parties involved, but now the entire group is coupled up with each other, save for me, Swayze, and Mel. The singles are outnumbered 6 to 3. Feels lonely, let me tell you.

I'm not sure how to handle my friendships with Government Mule and Schmoozer. I feel like it is no longer appropriate for me to be friends with them. After all, I don't e-mail Harvey's husband and ask how his day is going, so I probably shouldn't e-mail or lunch with those two anymore. The girls expressly said that I was friends with the boys before the relationships developed, but I still feel like it is a precarious tightrope to tread across.


I saw Schmoozer and Katie at an event Saturday night. Unsure of what to do, I avoided Schmoozer altogether until he approached me and said hello. Before I could respond, Katie—who was the drunkest I've seen her since that epic happy hour months ago—grabbed Schmoozer by the hand and pulled him to his seat.


I also did my best to avoid Government Mule, but he wouldn't let me. He cornered me and asked if I was okay due to other recent drama (see bullet point number three) and then took Jenna and me out for chocolate-chip pancakes after the event. As he paid the bill, he told me to call him and we'll go out to lunch, just the two of us.
  • Girl dramz! It's a very long and complicated story that would require a Venn diagram, but Harvey and I lost a friend this week. I'm not too much bothered by the individual loss because it doesn't affect my day-to-day life, but Harvey's feelings are hurt. Moreover lines have been drawn and sides have been chosen. Harvey and I have each other and our central group of friends, but I have lost 2 other circles of friends, including my knitting group. I had a great un-friending on Facebook and had to delete 10 girls.

Valdosta, Government Mule, Schmoozer and those 10 ladies, that's a lot of loss for one month. My phone does not ring anymore. I don't even bother taking the phone off silent mode and I no longer carry it on me.

I come home from work, prepare a small dinner, go running and knit until bedtime. That's been my life the past couple of weeks.

I guess the silver lining in all of this is that I'm reminded of what a great central group of friends I do have. Swayze e-mailed me to check up on me. Harvey defended my honor to the now ex-friend. Katie scheduled a girl's night. Mel is the only one who does call, and she makes sure I get to the gym. And Jenna is coming over tonight to make ice cream sundaes. They know I'm upset and they all have rallied around me.

I just wish it was enough to snap me out of my funk. Abraham Lincoln funk, not George Clinton funk.

9 comments:

anna said...

it really does stink to be the single one when your group turns in two a series of pairs...no matter how much you love them.

it sounds like you are keeping yourself busy, which seems to be the key to sanity in lonely times.

howl at the moon if you need to...i will be ready to join the call.

Jess said...

Ugh. The funk bug has been going around. If you find a way to snap out of it, let me know.

I hope things get better for you :)

bonda84 said...

Im also going to blame some of this crap weather on your funk too. I'm sure here in time it will get better. Just keep swimming :)

cornflakegirl74 said...

In times like these, you start to realize who the real friends are. I know it can seem lonely, but I always think it is far more satisfying to find myself in the company of a few good friends instead of a sea of unfamiliar faces.

And it sounds as though the ones you are surrounded by are wonderful friends :)

Je m'appelle Danielle said...

I like just having a couple close friends, I have come to the realization thats all I really need.

I am also the last single girl in my group. It gets me sometimes, but then I realize I can have hot one night stands whenever I want. It evens out I guess... Especially when my coupled friends are hanging onto every word of the stories I retell.

Amanda @ Wild Oats said...

Funks suck! I'm glad you're realizing your true friends right now though. In times of funkiness, they are the ones who will drag you out of bed, shove you into the shower and force you to go out. OR they will be the ones to come over, bring you chocolate and wine and have a therapy session with you. They're the ones that care. And it seems like you've got them in spades =)

EmilyinNYC said...

I can relate. Almost all my friends are in relationships and it seems like no one wants to have fun anymore. Not to mention that NYC has been like living in an igloo lately. Makes it hard to stay motivated. It's good that you have such good friends to back you up.

Miss Lime said...

Oh no... The whole incestuous group thingy... But wtfish... as long as everyone knows their boundaries, I am sure it's still fine to hang out. But still, when it comes to love, friends cannot be trusted. Remember Conor?

laniebelluz said...

that sucks that u feel like u have boundaries now with your friends but good that your other friends are supporting u!

 

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