~Thursday, July 28, 2011

20 Questions

What's your best holiday destination and why? Anonymous

My father owns a house on the beach in the South Carolina lowcountry (Think Prince of Tides). It's a five-hour drive from my apartment in the city. Especially in the winter, I like to load up the dog in the car and head out there for some solitude. It's a small town tucked away from tourists, so the beaches are lined with trees instead of hotels. It's just perfect.

Pictures can be found here.

Do you have a funny blogger nickname picked out for when you meet your life partner/future husband? Thisisme

I have never really considered the possibility of meeting the love of my life while maintaining this blog. Is that weird? I always figured that was for the cool Heather Armstrongs of the world to have husbands with laptops and scruffy faces to sit on the other side of the desk while she blogs. Actually Heather Hunter of This Fish fame made the transition from relationship blogger to married blogger, so I guess there's hope for me yet. Lately, I've been naming guys based on their hometowns, so as long as I don't meet someone from Helen, Charlotte or Savannah, I think it'll be fine.

What's one of your "can't live without" beauty products? J

Aveda Smooth Infusion Glossing Straightener, or as I like to call it: MAGIC. It's crack for hair. Tames humidity, frizzies and flyaways. Adds glossy shine. It totally makes me look like I woke up with perfect hair that didn't require two different shampoos, a deep conditioner, hair dryer and a hair straightener and then my little bottle of crack. I honestly don't know how I dated in college without a flat iron and Aveda Smooth Infusion.

Everyone has a BJ gone wrong story- are you willing to share yours? Heisschic

Does everyone really have a BJ-gone-wrong story? Why have I never asked this of my friends?!

One time right after college I was working with this guy. He flirted really heavily with me and paid me all sorts of attention. I had just gotten out of a relationship because my boyfriend and I had just graduated and it was either follow each other or breakup. He moved to Baltimore for grad school and I stayed behind.

Anyway so I was really depressed and there was this guy and he was in his late twenties! OMG so grown up! And we went out for drinks and I matched him drink for drink the entire night... only he was over 6 feet tall and probably had at least 100 pounds on me. I was druuuuuuuunk. Drunkity drunk drunk. And I took him back to my place, where I was living with Satchel... and Satchel had friends in our living room and I was totally busted for coming home drunk with a random guy.

We go into my bedroom and I don't even think there were sheets on my bed. Blowie commences on the bare mattress. And something happened. I don't know if it was the bobbing motion, or the alcohol, or me trying to be overly ambitious, but I gagged. And my belly was full of vodka. I couldn't come back from the gag. I threw up just the tiniest amount. I swallowed it back down and I pushed through the blowie, hoping he didn't notice. He didn't. Ta da!

(I have exactly 2 stories of me throwing up on people and now you know 100% of them. I have also retired vodka.)

Answer anonymously if you must, but what was the worst thing to happen to you during a blowie?

Also, feel free to keep submitting questions!

11 comments:

DES said...

Blowie story: He was a very nice guy and we were on our 5th date. We were rounding the bases. It was dark and I didn't feel an erection, so I figured I'd suck him to an erection. I told him to take off his pants and underwear, and when he did I couldn't believe my eyes...his penis was as big as a hairy acorn. That's why I didn't feel the erection.

I know it's mean, but I got the giggles. I decided that continuing with the BJ was the best way to hide my laughter. He later told me that it was the BJ he ever had and he didn't know how I did that mouth pulsing thing. I almost had a brain aneurysm holding in the laughter.

Needless to say, we didn't date long. It's a shame, even though he was a nice guy I need something a little more promising than a hairy acorn.

Jess said...

Blowie story: I was with my boyfriend at my grandparent's house for Christmas. (Oh, yes.) Also in attendance was my Mother and Brother. My Grandfather set up a make-shift bedroom for BF and I in his workshop. Well after dinner and lots of wine, BF and I went down to the basement to our bedroom. I decided (please don't ask me why) that I was going to give the BF a BJ. I don't know if it was a combo of drinking too much and eating too much but I certainly deep-throated a little *too* much and I BARFED all over BF. In the basement of my grandparents house. Thank god he was able to keep his shit together and he manage to clean up while I sat there in total shock. Even more amazingly, he managed to do so without waking the whole house.

We are still together. Love is when you barf on someone while giving them a BJ and they don't dump you! I'd like to see Hallmark put that on a card.

Toddy said...

Wow! the barfing BJ commenter takes the cake on this one. Cheers, T.

Red Stethoscope said...

No BJ stories to share, just wanted to say that I adore Heather Hunter, but strangely, I don't see myself blogging about the guy when I meet someone serious either. It's sort of understood that if I'm writing about it on the internet, it's not that meaningful. So, if I disappear from cyberspace, you know what happened!

J said...

I've got to check out this Aveda Smooth infusion crack! Thanks for the intel.

I am lol'ing over all the barfing and BJ stories. This was an excellent idea, Sarah!

nuttycow said...

All class Sarah!

BJ story? I don't think I have one. Not a bad one, anyway.

Hmmm... leave it with me.

heisschic said...

love aveda's smooth infusion. plus, anything aveda smells like heaven (or just expensive hair), so it's a double win.


for my awkward story- i wasn't aware that the recipient was about to finish, so i had my mouth at an odd angle. let's just say that semen up the nose burns.

Anonymous said...

BJ story:

I was with my then "Friends with Benefits", this time around he didn't keep himself clean as usually did.. and he's uncut.. so I got some nasty "stuff" in my mouth, lets just say it turned me off from giving BJ's since.. and only do them when it's "freshly" clean.

*GAG*

Jess said...

(I preface this with: I was in High School, it was with my "long-term" boyfriend).

It was the first time I'd finally worked up the courage to give him a BJ.

Our two friends were in the other room, I insisted the lights be off. So far so good. I went to work not really thinking about the gum in my mouth.

Next thing I know, my gum was falling out into his crotch. So I'm trying to find it carefuly, so that maybe I won't have to confess. "That tugging your doing on my pubes really isn't doing it for me" he says.

sigh.

"I dropped my gum"

"YOU HAD GUM IN YOUR MOUTH!?"

Without putting his pants on, he storms out to find scissors, all the while our friends are laughing hysterically.

I have NEVER lived it down. Ever.

Anonymous said...

The motorbike accident Scott had. Was he drunk / high on drugs at the time?

Also, it was very good manners of you to send a thank you note for the donation I made towards helping Scott out with his medical bills, but what I'm really curious about is this: did you handwrite a thank you note to EVERY single person who sent a donation, regardless of how small the amount was?

Last question, to end on a lighter note, if you could choose a different hair color to have been born with, what color would you choose?

Je m'appelle Danielle said...

Oh how I wish there was a bad blowie forum that I could just read and laugh away at. I amazingly don't have any bad blowie stories. Yes, I am that good. Hahaha just kidding. The only thing close is just trying not to laugh when I encounter really small penis's. Such a disappointment.

 

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