Meet Lawyered

I remember the exact moment I met Lawyered. It was back in December and our two teams were standing in a circle around the basketball court preparing for our second dodgeball game. The referee stood in the middle of the teams.

"So those are the rules. Does anybody have any questions?"

I raised my hand. "Can you juggle multiple balls?" I asked.

The crowd chuckled. What I was trying to ask was could you hold onto one ball while you throw another one across the court. But the game is dodgeball and therefore we all have the same mentality as the people who play it: 13-year-old boys.

"If you are that skilled, you can juggle multiple balls," answered the referee, who apparently is also a 13-year-old boy. The crowd chuckled again. "Any other questions?" he asked.

A tall man in his thirties with thick, jet black hair save for a bald spot forming at the crown leaned in to his teammate. "Yeah, what's her phone number?" he joked.

I heard him. Our eyes met across the court. And we laughed.

***

When Nameless Teammate made me cry several weeks ago, it was Lawyered who dumped his drink on him. We had become fast friends through expressing interest in the same activities. We both bought passes to go rock climbing. He loved my Warrior Dash story and signed up with me to do it again in September. He talked me into joining his boot camp.

At the office one morning, I got the following text from him: Join my kickball team this summer.

Uh, you know I'm not good, right?

I know.

Are you trying to fullfill the female quota or something?

Sure.

I'll play if your fiancée plays.

Funny, she said the same thing about you.

And that's how I ended up on a team that wanted me.

***

I showed up to our first game last week. Despite knowing half of my new team, I was still nervous as if it were my first day of school. Immediately I sought out Lawyered—the team captain—and his fiancée. Lawyered and I had had breakfast one morning after boot camp and we talked through the team positions using the condiment bottles at the diner. I was the salt shaker, otherwise known as catcher.

As I stood at the field making small talk with Lawyered's fiancée, I felt a small shove. I turned around and saw Lawyered's best friend. I politely shoved him back and returned to the fiancée. Then there was a tap on my shoulder. I turned around again. This time it was Lawyered's golfing buddy. He stepped towards me and hugged me. Another guy waved. I smiled. I was being greeted by my new team. More importantly, I was being welcomed.

Even though I was playing with a new team on a new night, we were playing against my old team. It's not uncommon for some people to play on several teams throughout the week; this team was the weekday version. It contained The Leader, Girl from Irish Pub, Clemson and Nameless Teammate among a few others. I knew everyone on the field. I was friendly with everyone but Clemson and Nameless Teammate, both of whom I just didn't acknowledge.

Lawyered, otherwise known as the pepper shaker, played pitcher to my catcher. If one of us screwed up, we'd heckle each other. I beamed. I just fit in with my new team in a way I didn't with my old one. I instantly felt comfortable with them. Even the people who didn't know me accepted me because this was my third season and I'm considered a veteran now.

The best way I can describe it is that my old team was the fraternity and sorority of fake, beautiful people. I never quite fit into that scene. The friendships I did forge are people who are on the outskirts of that clique as well. I don't think I've even used the word "clique" since high school if that says anything.

The new team is comprised of real, down-to-earth people. There isn't a list of who has slept with whom. They don't sit around and bash the person who isn't present. And they don't treat people the way Statham, Clemson and Nameless Teammate do.

Nameless Teammate was the pitcher on the other team. When he rolled the ball at me to kick, he treated me differently than he did everyone else on my team. He pitched more aggressively to me.

"You're a dick!" shouted Lawyered's fiancée at him.

That's the kind of friends I've made.