~Tuesday, November 15, 2011

How to Make Room in Your Life for Someone

Start where you are. No need for recounting stories of the good old days that you think are still funny that other people tell you with their eye rolls that they are indeed not. What happened this week? You had a really good sandwich? Start with that.

During subsequent encounters, build on current rapport. If Object of Affection stated he/she went to a really good show last week, ask about any new or upcoming shows. Build upon what you know. Other details will come forth naturally.

Repeat.

Repeat.

Congrats! Now you know someone well enough that you can carry on a conversation without effort! Look at you!

Then it magically happens. Something that you have come across will remind you of Object of Affection. It could be a song after Object of Affection proudly declared his/her love for Wham!. It could be a Groupon for a restaurant Object of Affection noted he/she liked. Object of Affection has infiltrated your mind.

Take time out of your day to make contact when these incidents occur. Wham!’s Last Christmas is playing at Target. The only place that song belongs is Hot Tub Time Machine. The part of the movie where they wake up and see the condition of the hot tub. That song is so awful, it should be mixed with the vomit and despair in the drain.

Once an individual relationship has been established and you feel comfortable enough to be *gasp* alone together, go for tacos. I never met a person that is opposed to tacos, and I’m not sure I want to know someone who is opposed to tacos. Tacos are fun! Tacos are lovable! Just like you!

Over tacos, bond over similarities. Your love of Will Ferrell. Your mutual hatred of Bridesmaids. Let these similarities (or perhaps even differences) connect you further into each others lives. Use them to tailor more personalized ways to spend time with each other one on one.

Most people aren’t willing to give up prime-time scheduling to make room in their lives for someone new. Use a safe time slot normally reserved for time that you wouldn’t spend with anyone else, like a Monday evening. Your DVR will record House.

The next half step is including Object of Affection in your pre-made plans. Happy hour near Object of Affection’s place? Casually invite him/her along! That way you don’t miss on your social duties, but you can still spend time with Object of Affection. Win-win!

As the importance level of the new person increases, so does the scheduling flexibility. What may have been Friday nights with the coworkers could be bumped for Object of Affection. Priorities shift.

As social engagements approach (holiday parties, weddings, etc), you have the decision whether you want to fully enmesh someone in your life. Invite Object of Affection as your plus one. This person you didn’t know all too long ago now become your date above all others.

The pinnacle of the relationship: depending on Object of Affection. Your car is at the mechanic’s and you need a ride. Object of Affection has now become your go-to person, the person you trust to stop his/her plans to assist you. This person has crossed the trust barrier and is now in your inner circle.

Congrats! You have a new person in your life! You have worked someone in from nothing!

26 comments:

Fancy said...

*Like*

katielookingforward said...

Yay! I love this post, and so true about tacos!

treacle said...

:-)

Bathwater said...

Some people don't realize that it is a problem including someone new in your life. Especially the beginning, if they don't get over that hurdle you are off and they are forgotten before they even cross the starting line.

The Singleship said...

Ugh, I want to DVR House and go eat some tacos with someone!! Until then, I'll just read your blog and live vicariously through you and your Object of Affection.

j said...

I really want tacos now!

Je m'appelle Danielle said...

Anyone who dislikes tacos is not to be trusted. Especially if they dislike Choco-Tacos. Those people just hate life.

crazytownusa said...

I'm so damn glad OA doesn't stand for Over Eaters Anonymous over here. Swoon!

Anonymous said...

I don't dislike tacos, I really really like them but I'm allergic to tomatoes so going out for tacos can be... problematic... Does that make me not worth knowing?

AmyB said...

Thank goodness I was eating a taco salad while reading this (really)! And thank freaking goodness you have nether someone worthy of being enmeshed. YAAAAY!

AmyB said...

Or, you know, FOUND someone. Effing iPhone! ;o)

australian escorts said...

LIKE! LIKE! LIKE! I just love how you make it look easy to do and it is! Thanks for this. :D

Scrumps said...

Awwww - the first step is making room and I will probably refer to this in time to come! :)

Eleni Zoe said...

Ha! I loved this on so many levels. Let's list them (cause who doesn't like lists?)

1. You've got someone in your life.
2. I hated Bridemaids too.
3. You watch House.
4. I want to try tacos now. (I've never had them before.)
5. It sounds so simple. I like simple.

Northern lass said...

And the best bit is when it creeps up on you and suddenly you've effortlessly moved from a to b :)

Ps I'm blaming you for my diet busting craving for tacos.

preciousandpriceless said...

oooh sweet. now you just need to come to vancouver, canada and try the best taco food cart ever. tacofino.com or just go to tofino on vancouver island in the summer and eat your tacos on the beach of the pacific ocean and learn how to surf! (i tried surfing in hawaii it didn't take, however, the tacofino fish taco is the best)

Lpeg said...

You are so stinkin' cute.

Tex In The City said...

I like tacos!

Angela said...

I didn't like Bridesmaids, either. I should have known, what with some comparisons to the Hangover.

Jenica said...

Why could I not leave comments on your blog when I had something to actually say? And now I have nothing of note, but can comment.

Jane Morgan said...

discover something that you have in common and spend more time together.

Jenny Miller said...

it is not easy to make a room for someone in your life. you must like the person and you must treat each other with respect.

Jenny Miller said...

it is not easy to make a room for someone in your life. you must like the person and you must treat each other with respect.

Charlotte said...

Eeeep. I just love this. Because it seems we are on the same path these days. And I'm slowly--very slowly--letting object of affection in, bit by bit. But it's a wonderful feeling I've really, really missed. Congrats to you, girl. You seem so happy these days :)

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