Karma Cleanser

Married Work Guy flat out propositioned me today. I was eating my Healthy Choice frozen lunch at my desk and this little awkward moment popped on my screen:


I don't think being a dirty mistress will help with my dating karma.

I tried the married thing once. I was 23 and he was... I have no idea how old he was. He was older. We worked together and got along extremely well. It started out with us going out to lunch together; work affairs always start with lunch. Our relationship climaxed when we decided to go out after work to celebrate the end of the month. We sat at my favorite bar where I matched him drink for drink. A big man, he had a very high tolerance.

I remember making a quip about how he was married and then feeling embarrassed when he shoved his ringless finger in my face. He said he didn't take off the ring for just anybody. When the bar closed we went back to my place and then into my room. In the darkness we made out until his clothes were gone and I was gone and before coherent thought came, he did.

He immediately rolled out of bed and into my bathroom and began cleaning himself up. I remained under the sheets, trying to keep the bed from spinning underneath me. He complained about a stain on his boxers and how he had to hide it from his wife. He never returned to bed. He never returned the gesture and he never said goodbye.

It was then I learned that affairs with married men are not about you, they're all about him. It's not about how much he seems to like you, it's not about how beautiful he says you are, and it's certainly not about how unhappy in his marriage he claims he is.

Married Work Guy conceded that I do deserve a relationship with someone. He said until then, there was nothing wrong with something casual. When I said I couldn't, he told me that I seemed scarred. He's right-- I am scarred.

But I'm no dirty mistress.