Eff you, 2009, and your little dog too

I have been looking forward to 2010 for at least 6 months. 2009 was such a rat bastard of a year that halfway through in July, I threw a half-New Year's party (which was more of a pity party for one that involved a bottle of wine and a copy of He's Just Not That into You from Blockbuster, but who's counting). I never thought I could have such hatred for something so intangible such as a year of time. I even resort to blaming the Romans for the calendar.

I have so much fury within me that I made my own Worst of 2009 list. (Trinity did it first).

Without further ado and in mostly chronological order:

Worst of 2009

• Got laid off 34 days into 2009.
• The very next day my doctor told me it was likely I had thyroid cancer and scheduled me for surgery. That was February.
• In March I had my car shat in, I was choked on my surgical wound and beaten in the face with a leather-bound book. And I was unemployed.
• In April my boyfriend pretended to celebrate my birthday but spent his days at work telling girls he didn't love me and was moving out. I found a gold earring I didn't own in the apartment. And I was unemployed.
• In May I was attacked at a wedding. Boyfriend went on a date with someone else the next day like nothing happened. I moved home with my mother for the second time in my life, only to realize that my step-father was cheating on my mother. Mother told me I was just sensitive. And I was unemployed.
• A lot of fighting between my mother and step-father in June. Ex-boyfriend tried to kill himself with the watch I gave him for Christmas and he was institutionalized.
• Got firm proof that my step-father was cheating in July.
• Moved out of my mother's house in August because we both agreed it wasn't a safe environment for me to be in.
• In September I realized that my ex-boyfriend was actually a crack addict in addition to an alcoholic.
• In October someone threw rocks into my apartment and took a crowbar to my car. My knitting bag, one of the most special things I owned, was stolen. I also received a threatening e-mail from the ex-boyfriend who was still in rehab.
• In December my mother's divorce was final and my step-father of 17 years just left like we never mattered in the first place.

My eye started twitching just making this list.

So to 2009 I say Goodbye and good riddance, you jerk. I'm also waving my middle finger around a lot, but you can't see that.