How to Make Room in Your Life for Someone

Start where you are. No need for recounting stories of the good old days that you think are still funny that other people tell you with their eye rolls that they are indeed not. What happened this week? You had a really good sandwich? Start with that.

During subsequent encounters, build on current rapport. If Object of Affection stated he/she went to a really good show last week, ask about any new or upcoming shows. Build upon what you know. Other details will come forth naturally.

Repeat.

Repeat.

Congrats! Now you know someone well enough that you can carry on a conversation without effort! Look at you!

Then it magically happens. Something that you have come across will remind you of Object of Affection. It could be a song after Object of Affection proudly declared his/her love for Wham!. It could be a Groupon for a restaurant Object of Affection noted he/she liked. Object of Affection has infiltrated your mind.

Take time out of your day to make contact when these incidents occur. Wham!’s Last Christmas is playing at Target. The only place that song belongs is Hot Tub Time Machine. The part of the movie where they wake up and see the condition of the hot tub. That song is so awful, it should be mixed with the vomit and despair in the drain.

Once an individual relationship has been established and you feel comfortable enough to be *gasp* alone together, go for tacos. I never met a person that is opposed to tacos, and I’m not sure I want to know someone who is opposed to tacos. Tacos are fun! Tacos are lovable! Just like you!

Over tacos, bond over similarities. Your love of Will Ferrell. Your mutual hatred of Bridesmaids. Let these similarities (or perhaps even differences) connect you further into each others lives. Use them to tailor more personalized ways to spend time with each other one on one.

Most people aren’t willing to give up prime-time scheduling to make room in their lives for someone new. Use a safe time slot normally reserved for time that you wouldn’t spend with anyone else, like a Monday evening. Your DVR will record House.

The next half step is including Object of Affection in your pre-made plans. Happy hour near Object of Affection’s place? Casually invite him/her along! That way you don’t miss on your social duties, but you can still spend time with Object of Affection. Win-win!

As the importance level of the new person increases, so does the scheduling flexibility. What may have been Friday nights with the coworkers could be bumped for Object of Affection. Priorities shift.

As social engagements approach (holiday parties, weddings, etc), you have the decision whether you want to fully enmesh someone in your life. Invite Object of Affection as your plus one. This person you didn’t know all too long ago now become your date above all others.

The pinnacle of the relationship: depending on Object of Affection. Your car is at the mechanic’s and you need a ride. Object of Affection has now become your go-to person, the person you trust to stop his/her plans to assist you. This person has crossed the trust barrier and is now in your inner circle.

Congrats! You have a new person in your life! You have worked someone in from nothing!