The Rules

A girlfriend of mine has a tradition within her circle of friends. One of her friends used to work at a wedding magazine and had received a Mr. Wonderful doll as a promotional item. Mr. Wonderful is a plastic doll with pre-approved sayings such as "You look nice today," and "Why don't we go the the mall, didn't you want some shoes?"

She kept Mr. Wonderful on her desk until she met her real-life Mr. Wonderful. And then she gave him to a co-worker, and then she met her own Mr. Wonderful. That's when my friend got Mr. Wonderful. She had him for two days and then got engaged. And now Mr. Wonderful has been passed on again. The current owner is a little freaked out about Mr. Wonderful and has him sitting in her closet.

I'd like to think my books are our version of Mr. Wonderful.

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I'm going to miss The Rules probably most of all. What a funny, antiquated little book! I bought The Rules spring of 2001 when my first serious boyfriend broke up with me so he could go on spring break with his friends and not me. We got back together until the following summer when he wanted to spend the summer with his friends and not me. We did not get back together my senior year of college.

I tried my hardest to follow The Rules, but my collegiate butt could not do it. I even kept a journal for a year tracking my progress. I remember one of The Rules being don't talk to a man first. "Otherwise, how will you know if he spotted you first, was smitten by you and had to have you, or is just being polite?"

Because of that Rule, I didn't talk to anyone for a month. I would take my puppy (the now old Femme Fatale) to the dog park every day and not talk to a single person. Then one time my dog got away from me and was happy splashing in a muddy pond, and a guy named Leon with two Chihuahuas asked if I needed help retrieving her. He got her out of the pond for me... and never spoke to me again. The dog park was a lonely place for me.

The bit of the book I did take with me was The Rule to strive to look feminine. Find what fits and colors make you look your best and run with it. Put your best foot forward and become a creature unlike any other. Following this advice I began to feel better about myself, irrespective of a man's opinion. I still follow this Rule to this day.

This book is antiquated in that it talks about answering machines and not text messaging. It is no longer in print. It will not be real-world applicable to you. But it is a fun read, if nothing else than to giggle at some of The Rules (Rule #31: Don't Discuss The Rules with your Therapist). And who knows? Maybe one of The Rules will resound with you.

If nothing else, you can see my 2001 highlights.

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