Anxiety and a cup 'o spaz

I've been having chest pains all day in anticipation of his response to my love letter. The later it gets, the more severe my chest pains are. My mother, who normally dismisses all medical ailments and injuries, is very worried about me, which, in turn, makes my chest pains hurt more.

I've had some aspirin and a beer. I've been praying all night that he doesn't call. I don't want him to. If he does, he's just going to reject my letter and reject me again and I can't take that right now. That letter was my heart and soul and I can't take it being thrown back at me.

I'm lying in a dark room with my beer, distracted only by TV. My mother says I'm falling apart and suggested some counseling. I didn't throw that idea away like I threw the self-help books down the stairs that she checked out for me from the library.