I made it until 2:30 today before I realized that today is Mark's birthday. Then I had a complete emotional breakdown. At first I was crying because it was 2:30 and I was just now realizing that it was his birthday- I felt like a bad person. Then I briefly felt better because I made it to 2:30 before I remembered it because I was succeeding in getting over him. And then I cried even harder because of that.
I had decided a week ago not to acknowledge his birthday. I had already bought and made presents for him before we broke up. I was debating whether to send him a card and just the present I had made for him or to do nothing. I thought that if I send him the present, he would think good thoughts about me and if I did nothing, then he would feel the loneliness of his birthday. I decided to let him be lonely.
I was so emotionally worn out that I spent the rest of the afternoon napping. That's one nice repercussion of depression- you get to kill time and sleep.
5:49 PM
3 weeks ago
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3 comments:
Yep, I'm getting my sleep in spades now...but I'm fatter than ever...I wish I could be the kind of person where depression makes you not want to eat.
I am currently obsessed with your blog and I have been reading through your achives since last Friday. i think you are a great writer. So great that while reading through your entries about Mark, I am reliving my devastating break-up with my Ex (he was also a Virgo!). Much like Mark, the ex dumped me and wouldn't return any of my phone calls. Since our last fight, which he used to break up with me, we have not spoken or seen each other in over 3 years. About a year ago, he tried to get back together with me through several text messages. LOL!! What an idiot! I hear from the neighborhood that he just had a baby with some dumb girl he was dating and is working at Sears. =P
Thanks! I wish I could say that Mark wanted to come back, but he never did. Ass. I still think I would have difficulty not punching him if I ever saw him again.
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