I've had a profile posted online for... 3 days now and I already have a laundry list of complaints. This is what I wanted to include in my profile, but won't because no one likes a bitch.
- You haven't been properly socialized. I'm way too worn out to teach you how to act in both social and private settings. It's work that I'm just not willing to put in.
- You cannot carry a conversation. It irritates me to have to control the conversation every friggin' time. You say you love your job over and over. Fine, I'll ask you about what you do, or I'll ask you to elaborate on your job duties. Then you give me a one sentence response and say nothing else. Whatever. I never cared about your job anyways. I just thought you could talk passionately about something. Again, this is too much work for me.
- You cannot match your shoes to your belt, or, at the very least, know when to ask for help with this.
- You write with "text lingo" instead of words. I have an English degree. Crap like "i c" and "u 2" really irritate the hell out of me. To me, it just shows that you're lazy. Phone text messaging didn't come out until we were in college, so you should have learned proper language skills by then. We're not 14; this isn't trendy.
- You quote or steal movie lines and/or songs for your profile. You are unoriginal. In the few chances you get to talk about yourself, you steal someone else's work. This tells me nothing about yourself. Maybe you don't think much about yourself. Maybe you're not good at following directions. Maybe you don't think much of me, the one reading your profile. Any of these three possibilities are enough to make me move on.
- You begin your profile with, "Well, I don't know what to put here so... " It's awkward. I get that. Don't think that I didn't gripe about that too. But once again, you're using the one chance you get to talk about yourself to complain that it's awkward. The first sentence shows up under your picture. Seeing your pic with "Well, I don't know what to put here" doesn't accomplish a thing. Other than that you, too, are lazy. And/Or unoriginal. That puts you in the category above that I want no part of.