Pants on fire

I didn't know why he kept calling me.

Sure we were old friends from school, but that weekend in December didn't warrant a phone call every week. Between the university days and last December, we would go years without so much as a IM. Now it's every. Freaking. Week.

Maybe I grew bored because the conversations weren't that great. They were at best a step above the weekly calls to the parents. We'd talk about current hobbies and work, skipping any topic that involved emotion, especially anything involving any naked activities. It was an unwritten rule that we wouldn't even discuss the naked activities we partook in with each other. And I grew bored. I felt like whatever we were doing was forced. He didn't want to hurt my feelings or make me feel bad, so he called every week to prove me wrong. "It's okay," I thought. "I understand. You don't have to keep pretending."

Then one day I was driving home from work and his picture flashed on my cell phone. "Eh," I mumbled and I just let it ring. He never quit; he called every week regardless if I picked up the phone or not. Friday, I answered after six weeks of silence.

We worked our way through work and hobbies. I lied when he asked if I still practiced yoga. "Oh yeah, three times a week," I responded. Truth was I hadn't been in a month and my stomach looked more like a tummy. I didn't care. I didn't even mask my blah mood. Had I not been feeling so apathetic, I probably wouldn't even have answered the phone.

Wednesday he called again. I made a mental note that it hadn't been a week yet. I picked up again. This time I was feeling a bit lonely, settling in The Week Where No Worketh Gets Done, and hadn't spoken to a person in days. Then he did it. He mentioned a certain naked activity. "I was thinking about last week when I was describing my physic to you and then I thought, "Sarah's seen me naked!" he laughed.

"Anyways," he continued. "I'm coming to see you in August. Let's pick a weekend."

"Okay sure." I kicked around a blanket on my couch. He's been saying that since February and I've known since May to not expect it.

"Cool. How's August 11th?"

"What?"

"Okay, your choice: August 4th or August 11th?"

"Um," I looked down at my non-yoga tummy, "August 11th."

"Awesome! And can we go to the aquarium?"

"Uh, sure."

"I've been talking about this for so long, I bet you didn't believe I'd ever come."

"Yeah, something like that."

I hung up the phone. He's called the second time in under a week, brought up the unmentioned naked activity, and set a date to come visit. Nick must be horny.

I'm currently checking my Outlook Calendar. I have three weeks to lose 10 pounds. Now what the hell did I do with my yoga mat?