~Monday, September 25, 2006

Karma Cleanser

Married Work Guy flat out propositioned me today. I was eating my Healthy Choice frozen lunch at my desk and this little awkward moment popped on my screen:

I don't think being a dirty mistress will help with my dating karma.

I tried the married thing once. I was 23 and he was... I have no idea how old he was. He was older. We worked together and got along extremely well. It started out with us going out to lunch together; work affairs always start with lunch. Our relationship climaxed when we decided to go out after work to celebrate the end of the month. We sat at my favorite bar where I matched him drink for drink. A big man, he had a very high tolerance.

I remember making a quip about how he was married and then feeling embarrassed when he shoved his ringless finger in my face. He said he didn't take off the ring for just anybody. When the bar closed we went back to my place and then into my room. In the darkness we made out until his clothes were gone and I was gone and before coherent thought came, he did.

He immediately rolled out of bed and into my bathroom and began cleaning himself up. I remained under the sheets, trying to keep the bed from spinning underneath me. He complained about a stain on his boxers and how he had to hide it from his wife. He never returned to bed. He never returned the gesture and he never said goodbye.

It was then I learned that affairs with married men are not about you, they're all about him. It's not about how much he seems to like you, it's not about how beautiful he says you are, and it's certainly not about how unhappy in his marriage he claims he is.

Married Work Guy conceded that I do deserve a relationship with someone. He said until then, there was nothing wrong with something casual. When I said I couldn't, he told me that I seemed scarred. He's right-- I am scarred.

But I'm no dirty mistress.


Indiana said...

Did he really think you would entertain such an idea?

Sarah said...

Indy- he honestly believes he still has a chance :(

M said...

there is *so* something very, very wrong with doing something "casual" when you're married. Sorry but, I hate guys like him.

..actually I'm not sorry at all. I just really hate guys like him.

Miss Natalie said...

Married men off limits and this is the only issue I take a stand and become jugemental (as much as i can be)

M said...

hee, just came back to say the same thing as Nat. Waaay off limits.

Sarah said...

The horrible thing is he's not my type even if he wasn't married.

Phil said...

Can I say, I picked it?

Of course if you call him on it, he'll say, "It's a joke! Are you so full of yourself you can't take a joke. Geeze women!"

Despite my negativity not all men are pricks. I'd say 60% are pricks, 20% are momma's boys and 20% are decent.

Loved your dirty mistress line.

your sin city friend said...

Grey's Anatomy. You line stealer you! Love ya Sarah!

Rocky Mountain Princess said...

Good for you sweetie! I'm so proud of you!

I've been there, done that too (the similarities in our love/sex lives are starting to scare me) and you are absolutely right when you say that it's all about him; nothing about you, regardless of what they say.

Dating/sleeping with married men is playing with fire, and right, wrong, or indifferent... the woman is always the one that gets the shit burned out of her.

You just did women everywhere proud by taking a stand. He's a piece of frog shit at the bottom of a very scummy pond!

Indiana said...

I always love how people who start their relationship as an affair get surprised when their partner leaves them for someone else...like duh!!!!

Sarah said...

Phil- Will you make all my man decisions for me for now on? You seem good at this :)

BTW, Momma's boys are way worse than pricks IMHO.

SinCity- I was way guiltier than Meredith unfortunately.

I was rather embarrassed writing this entry.

And you what, RMP? If it's not with me, he's going to cheat on his wife with someone else. It has absolutely nothing to do with me.

Ok so he's frog shit! Where's my effing prince?!

Indy- I totally agree, but yet I've never actually seen that.

M said...

what indy said - I've seen it. Karma is a real bitch when it comes to "love" IMO.

Miss Natalie said...

Momma's boys are way worse than pricks

Really??? I'll need to hear your argument on that one.

Anonymous said...

He did what? And he thinks he's still in with a chance? Uh huh. Real shallow end of the gene pool that one. Good on you for setting him straight.

Bloody awkward that, being hit on at work. Maybe confide in your supervisor but tell her not to say or do anything. If it becomes an issue later, at least you've let your boss know who'll be on your side.

Anonymous said...

Good god there is 2 things wrong with this situation: a) He's a coworker, and in most cases co-workers are always off limits! And b) he's a selfish prick who's married.. ALWAYS bad karma! Good for you for saying no!

Sarah said...

M- hehe. Maybe that's why I'm trying to improve my karma.

Nat- Momma's boys seem like they're emotionally healthy, but they're problems are deep rooted. I wasted a year with one who could never commit to me- he lived at home- and when we broke up he said he didn't need me "because that's what [his] mother is for."

*backs away slowly*

At least with pricks, you can see what you're getting into.

Nick- I do feel awkward at work! But if I told anyone, they would take it very seriously. They wouldn't be able to wait and see if it got worse.

AG- Damn straight!

brea said...

Cheaters suck! I've been at both ends of the spectrum and MY GOD it is NOT fun.

Anonymous said...

I like the "married men"

I asked one man questions, the
right questions not knowing
this was all in fun for me.

This was his plan he would keep
his wife and keep me and
have 2 woman and that's it.

First of all he did not have me
second his wife is at home with
4 children.

Later I expressed YOU HAVE
WITH YOU. I will be a friend.
I have the impression he won't
be around. I told him I WAS

The thing here is that he will
probably find another woman
who accepts this type of relationship.



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