~Wednesday, September 13, 2006


As I hinted from the last post, I don't know if I'm going to see Adam anymore.

I realize that it will be an insanely stupid move on my part if I do this, but...

Hello, Miss Have Your Cake and Eat It Too.
Hey, conscience, what's up.
You're an idiot. Just so you know.
No buts on this one.
He doesn't have time for me.
You're a selfish c___.
Don't talk to me like that!!
I'm pissed off at you!
Seriously, I got another e-mail this morning that basically said, "Don't plan on seeing me this weekend either."
He didn't say it like that.
But that's what it meant.
He has completely over-extended himself and he can barely make it through the day. He's doing this with minimal complaining.
He still whines; it's kinda annoying.
You are not understanding of his needs AT ALL.
Maybe I would feel differently if he said things like, "I'll make it up to you next week."
Seriously, how girlie are you being right now.
I need to feel secure and I'm not getting that out of him.
But he's amazing otherwise. Top notch.
But I hate spending time wondering about him. Wondering if he's feeding me lines. Wondering why he doesn't try to fit me in that schedule.
I can't believe you are giving him crap about his schedule. If you haven't gotten a whole night's sleep in weeks, do you really want to square off time to spend with someone, or do you want to veg and sleep?
Then you can't expect anything different from him. He says it will be different when he's done with the early morning gym class.
What if that's a line? Do I really want to hang around two more weeks to find out if I've been duped?
Uh, what else are you going to do, Princess? Date all those other boys?
Just Monday he talked about fancy restaurants and taking you for ice cream.
But his actions aren't there.
He can't do that right now with the gym thing.
He couldn't go out with me on Friday.
It just seems like he has time for everything else but me.
I'm sure a lot of other things are slacking. Besides, he's known his friends a lot longer than you. It's only been a month, quiet down.
If only I had some assurance...
Assurance of what? That he's not going to leave? It's a free world, Baby. That's just a risk.
I just want to feel special.
There has been no communication between you two. You don't open up at all. You'll laugh and giggle over things you did that day, but the things that matter-- the things that make you you-- he knows nothing about them.
I can't get a chance when he's always this busy.
Gym will be over in two weeks.
Fine. He can have the two weeks. But if nothing changes then, I'm out.
That's fair. But you're still a bitch for not answering his e-mail this morning. You slept with him and now you're ignoring him.
I just wanted to sort out my thoughts.
You just don't want to get rejected, so you're trying to reject him first.
You know what? That's EXACTLY what this is. So what? What are you going to do about it?!?!
Yeah, that's what I thought.


Vince said...

You *could* just talk to him about how you feel.

M said...

you should listen to italic girl
..or vince - both are good :)

Nick said...

I agree with Vince and Mez - cut the guy some slack, what is the rush anyway - as you say, it's been a month - I mean, it's not like there's anyone else on the scene for either of you.

And rejection is part of life. Just like the opposite is, that wonderful cuddle, his arms around you, brushing the hair out of your eyes.

Take a deep breath, look around, and hey, lol, smell the coffee :)

Phil said...

What they said.


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