How to annoy the hell out of your favorite people

Sarah: Want to know something really annoying?
Adam: What's that?
(Pause. Horrible noise ensues.)
Adam: Gah!

I don't know why I feel the need to be so mean to the people I like the most, but I do. I prefer to think of it as being playful, but it's really a horrible thing. There's no way around it.

Step One: Wait until you're in a position of physical power. You have to be able to grab your significant other's face without him or her being able to block you. I think the easiest way is to sit on top of your victim partner.

Step Two: When his or her guard is down (ie you're making out/thinking about getting naked) Hover your head above your partner's. Results work best when the partner's mouth is closed.

Step Three: Cover his or her nose with your mouth and blow. Hard.

Step Four: Remove yourself from immediate vicinity of your partner as he or she will be thoroughly confused/disgusted.

Step Five: Laugh hysterically.

What you accomplish is you fill his or her lungs with air and, as they fill up, he or she gurgles before involuntarily opening the mouth the expelling the extra air.

Adam: What the hell did you just do?!
Sarah: (still rolling over laughing) I'm not telling!
Adam: That was disgusting!
Sarah: (laughing so hard she cannot make an audible sound)
Adam: You know I'm going to have to get you back for that. 83 times worse.
Sarah: That's not very Buddhist of you.
Adam: Yeah I'm not Buddhist in that area. We'll see who's laughing harder. You just wait.

What to do if someone else tries to do this to you: Blow your nose. Harder. He or she might even get a booger :)