~Monday, October 30, 2006

Drunk Truths

I pushed a pillow on his lap and laid down. I didn't do it to be closer to him, instead I was getting tired. It was 3:30 in the morning and the party was winding down. He absentmindedly ran his hand down my head. By this time I removed the bunny ears and fixed the hair since the kissing bandit a few hours earlier.

He asks, "Can I tell you something? Drunk truth?"

"Drunk truth."

"I don't believe in True Love. I think we have to do the best we can."

"True Love as in soul mates?"

"Yeah."

"Oh I agree," I said too quickly. I thought about all the reasons I believe that, "You've been hurt."

"How can you tell?"

"I guess I'm good at noticing that sort of thing."

We sat there for a minute, both lost in our own heads.

"You want my drunk truth?" I asked.

"Sure."

"I don't believe men hurt as much as women do. I don't think your hearts break like ours."

"Judging on the Bell Curve, I'd say you're right."

We were silent again. It felt good to vocalize what we've been thinking and hiding for years.

10 comments:

Walter said...

Interesting belief.
I know a few of my male friends who have experienced anguish from a broken heart as much as the next woman, but perhaps they're better at hiding it publicly since societal norms still look at men showing signs of emotional pain as a weakness. Regardless of how a heart breaks, it still sucks.

londongirl said...

I agree with Walter. I think guys hurt just as much, but are better at hiding it. When you have a few really close guy friends, you get to hear the stories of anguish and heartbreak. I'm always astonished how many outright bitches there are out there who behave REALLY badly towards guys.

M said...

well I definitely wouldn't say they hurt *more*. I think since we're all human we'd all hurt the same - give or take individual personalities. Boys are just better at pretending it doesn't hurt.

general_boy said...

I'm gonna have to join the general concensus, I'm afraid. :)

The Bell Curve and plenty of songs might indicate that "women hurt worse", but my personal experience, and those of some close freinds, paint a different picture.

As for the Soul mate thing, I certainly don't believe it in any cosmic, new age, wanky sort of way, but I'm not convinced it can't happen.

Jen said...

I am hoping on the bandwagon here. I have some close guy friends that hurt just as much as women. I never knew how broken up on firend was until after we had this drunken heart to heart about our recent breakups. They hurt, they are better at pretendingg they don't.

Steph said...

I really hope men hurt as much as us.
Wouldn't be fair otherwise :P

Phil said...

We just react differently.

Usually the harder the guy is acting like he is the life of the party (buying fast cars, going out a lot, jumping lots of girls) - the more cut he is.

Anonymous said...

What Phil said - truth, not drunk.

And yes, from my experience, I was pretty broken hearted - I can't qualify that by saying as much as a woman, because I would never know - not being a woman and all - but pretty fucking devastated.

Sarah said...

All y'all say that, but here's the thing:

I've never seen a man upset over a woman. None of my guy friends, none of the men I dated.

You can tell me this, but it's like telling me I can trap the wind in a jar and take it home with me.

I just don't believe it.

Walter said...

-Never seen a man upset over a losing a woman he loves? Count your blessings, it's not a sight for sober uncovered eyes.

-I've never seen the Andes Mountains (yet) but I accept their existence. Sasquatch however, is a different matter entirely.

 

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