~Monday, November 27, 2006

I'm a joker, he's a smoker, she's a midnight what?!

Thanksgiving has passed. Thank god. I hate Thanksgiving: it's important enough that you're expected to spend it with the family, but it's not religious so none of said family is on good behavior.

It's always Thanksgiving when I'm traumatized by my family. This year was no exception:

My step-mother and father and I were eating dinner the night before I left town. My step-mother's sister was visiting and we had just finished laughing over my speed dating story.

My step-mother's sister looks up from her plate of spaghetti, "Did you ever smoke pot?"

I look up wild-eyed and was immediately relieved when I see that she's not looking at me; she's looking at my step-mom. I look down at my plate and pretend I didn't hear the question.

My step-mother takes a long pause. I stare down a piece of garlic bread in front of me. "I did, but I waited," she began. "Like I really waited."

"Like I really, really waited," she continued. Only then I look up from my plate. Exactly how old was my step-mom when she smoked pot?

She looks to my father, "Honey, how old was I?"

I gag on the noodles I just forked into my mouth. She smoked pot with my father?! It's no secret that my dad was a hippie and smoked in college, but he did it after I was born?!

They smoked pot together which places me at least five years old. My dad was in his early forties smoking pot with my step-mom. I only tried it a handful of times when I was 21. Alcohol is my drug of choice. But my parents might still be toking.

Wow. That has to be good for a few years of therapy.

7 comments:

Indiana said...

So your parents smoked pot, you need therapy over that...LOL. You realise they might still have sex as well...~grin~

Phil said...

I'd love to see my Ma on pot. She gets - quote squiffy unquote - on two glasses of champagne.

Me and pot nevered mixed well and I'm quite happy with my G&Ts.

Sarah said...

Indy- I laughed so hard I just spit on myself. Whatevs, my mom is a virgin for life! Ignore my five brothers and sister!

Phil- If you need a "connection," I might have one. :P

I'm a fan of your G&Ts too, it was a post I never got around to.

M said...

rofl! I think my mum NEEDS some pot hook me up with your "connections"!

I was never very good with it - not really the pot itself and said reactions more the fact that I cannot for the life of me take a drag without coughing my lungs out and making a complete idiot of myself. I can hardly be in a bar with smoke everywhere without coughing actually. I'll stick to alcohol and shooting up instead. ;)

Sarah said...

One time I coughed into the bong and it spewed bong-water on a guy. He was not impressed.

Walter said...

I'm glad they named you Sarah and not MaryJane.

general_boy said...

I think my ma smoked dope once at the behest of her little drug crazed brother. said it just gave her a bad headache, and no other effects she could notice. I got stuck into the gear bad for a few years, did the whole "forgetful sniggering stoner" gig for a while. It was like living a Cheech Marin movie, only dumber. If that's at all possible...

 

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