~Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Return of the Adulterer

Married Work Guy up and quit about a month ago with no notice. He didn't tell anyone he was leaving and just packed a box and walked out. When I found out about 20 minutes later, my first thought was Thank God, maybe I can make it an entire work day without someone asking me for sex. This was immediately followed a flood of guilt. How dare I think that about someone who thought of me kindly.

Late one night about a week ago, my phone vibrated with a text message that read, "It's been awhile, how r u?" I was angry on several levels: a) for being texted in the first place; it's not something I do, b) whoever sent me the message couldn't even use real words, and c) I had no idea who it was from because I didn't have the number stored. I ignored the text because it was late at night and whomever it was, I probably didn't need to be talking to him this late.

The next morning at work I sent back a message, "I'm sorry, I don't recognize the number. Who is this?"

And moments later my phone vibrated again, "MWG."

I never gave MWG my phone number, by the way. He must have grabbed it off the company directory while he still worked here. I chose not to respond to the text. I heard he got a job with his wife and works with her now; I did not feel comfortable having him text me with his wife beside him.

N and I went out to lunch that day. I believe it was the day after this post and she and I were debating what E, Mez, and General Boy thought about being friends with a member of the opposite sex who is in a relationship. I held firmly to my belief until I thought about MWG and me and how uncomfortable I ended up feeling over our interactions.

"That's because he never was your friend, Sarah. Yeah, y'all hung out a few times and had a few lunches together, but he was never your friend. You're friends don't want to sleep with you. That isn't friend behavior."

I stuck a chip in my mouth and chewed on N's reaction, "Yeah... yeah!" and I felt a whole lot better because that didn't interrupt my belief on male/female relationships. MWG was not my friend, therefore I didn't feel bad about not responding to his attempt at contact by any means.

MWG would not be silenced, however. While I was out to dinner on Saturday night, my phone sang with the unsaved number. He was reduced to calling me on a weekend night and leaving messages on my voicemail.

If text messages made me feel dirty, imagine how weekend phone calls made me feel.


Phil said...

You're right, he was never your friend but an ass clown.

James said...

Don't let this experience stop you believeing that you can have true friends of the opposite sex, ones both in and not in relationships. My good friends are split pretty evenly girls and guys. And I love them all and want to shag none of them.

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

The primary thing I am concerned about is your statement that you "feel dirty." You have no reason to feel that. You did nothing "dirty." Forget MWG and especially his hitting on you and dance the joy of life! (This advice is from a very old dude)

Jen said...

I agree with ssnick. You have done nothing "dirty." MWG is the dirty one...

Scorpy said...

You initially thoguht the call was from a Male!!! Interesting..:)

general_boy said...

she and I were debating what E, Mez, and General Boy thought about being friends with a member of the opposite sex who is in a relationship wow... my ears burn again!! now I'm gettin' nervous LOL

anyway, MWG definitely sounds like a dodgy character to me now!

M said...

MWG is a complete and utter wanker. Not only is he not anywhere even CLOSE to being friends with you but he is also no friend to his wife either. A crap husband, a crap friend, a man without balls (can't even tell his wife that it just isn't happening anymore). What the hell good is he to anyone?

Also, the big problem in any situation like this for any girl and guy in a situation where the definition of 'friend' is questioned, is that even though he is being the primary dickhead you will be blamed too. You could be single, happy and free and you would be blamed - by EVERYONE. It doesn't even matter if it's fair or not - it just ends up happening. He was sooooo never your friend.

Walter said...

Too bad you couldn't forward those voicemails to MWG's wife, just to keep her in the loop. ;P

dont eat token said...

Ooh, I like Walter's thinking.

Aha, married white guy

I'm not too bright sometimes.

He's an asshole. He thinks you're friends, but you're right in being creeped out by him. I unfortunately dated someone that was just like him. He stalked Hunzer once (getting her name, emailing & texting her) and was hitting on her - back when we all worked for the same company. Garbage.

Sarah said...

Phil- I prefer asshat :)

James- Most of my friends are male, so I'll have to agree with you there.

Sometimes Saintly Nick- I'm upset and I feel guilty that I didn't have more control over the situation, even though I clearly told him no every day.

Jen- There is still some guilt. I don't know what else I could have done besides being mean to him.

Scorpy- Of course! A girl wouldn't text me late one night asking what I'm up to!!!

General Boy- Not by name. She doesn't have access to this blog, so I had to fill her in on some of the opinion. :)

M- Maybe that's why I feel so bad even though I did nothing wrong. I don't want to be blamed for anything.

Walter- No way! I met her and she can clearly kick my ass!

DET- Ugh, there's more than one of these kinds of guys? What a shame.

londongirl said...

MWG = Custard (bastard + c.nt). To you and to his wife.

You are well out of that one

M said...

it's a highly unfair double standard! It ALWAYS ends up being 'poor married guy was bored in his marriage because his wife was frigid and had no choice but to look for other options - aww' Vs Homewrecking immoral hussy who can't keep her hands off a married guy. It's crap and should be the other way around!

general_boy said...

hehe, phew! Laughing at M's comment too, geez, tell it like it is!!! =)

Walter said...

I don't get it, why would the Adulterer's wife wanna kick your ass? You're clearly not entertaining him, he's making the effort to contact you, but she would go medieval on your donkey and not on her Adulterous husband? I just don't get that.

Sarah said...

LondonGirl- Yeah, I was actually relieved when he left :)

M- It seems like men are never accountable. I'm sick of it all.

General Boy- Never but the best words for you! ;)

Walter- Look to Mez's thoughts. It's never the man's fault. I was somehow "asking for it."

Vinca Pervanche said...

The trick with being friends with attached people is boundaries.

For example, since my best (male) friend got married and I got serious with my bf, we no longer snuggle on the couch watching movies; most of our interactions take place in public. But we do still talk into the wee hours when something is going on in one of our lives (understanding partners help too).

Jason said...

Sorry if someone else mentioned this;

1) Tell him to bug off and leave you alone.

2) Look over your phone's settings, surely there is a way to block him.

Sarah said...

Vina- I think that makes a lot of sense.

Jason- I'm currently trying the silence route. :)


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