~Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Things You Need To Know

  1. I was laid off from my job on February 4th, 2009. If I hear "Due to the poor economic climate..." one more time, I'm going to rip my ears off and shove them in my mouth.
  2. The day after, February 5th, 2009, my third biopsy of my thyroid came back inconclusive again. The big C-word was being whispered around. I was scheduled for immediate surgery to have my thyroid removed. When I cried (about paying for the surgery. The idea of spending money while unemployed freaked me out more than the big C-word did.), the doctor said this would be a great time for surgery "because [I] had nothing better to do." 
  3. The pathology lab came back a few weeks later and said that all the tumors on my thyroid were benign. I finally had a diagnosis, but it didn't really make me feel any better. I sort of feel like I went through the whole thing for nothing.
  4. I had to stay with my mother following the surgery to recuperate. Scott didn't have a driver's license or a car, nor did he schedule the day off for my surgery, so he was pretty unfit for taking care of me. When I ended up in the emergency room for complications of surgery, he told me that my problems were psychosomatic and that I needed to snap out of it and come back to the apartment. He said that his surgery was worse and more painful and he got through it, so I shouldn't be such a wimp. I tried telling him that this wasn't a patch job, that my entire endocrine system was screwed up, but he hung up the phone on me. This had no bearing on why we broke up, but it always gnawed on me that when I needed surgery, he wasn't capable of taking care of me.


AmyB said...

Oh. My. God. How come you didn't come here for moral support during that HORRIFIC time?!?! OK, so maybe I know the answer to that question: you just didn't have it in you. Still, this breaks my heart. You dealt with this crap essentially all alone! I hope your family has been there for you! I'm so sorry you lost your job (have you found another one?), and have had such a terrible health scare (are you feeling better? Are you glad you got the surgery NOW?), and that Scott was there for you during this time. Especially because you were MORE THAN THERE FOR HIM when he was going through similar things! Grrr... As hard and sad as it may be to not have him in your life, I can also imagine there is a certain amount of relief, too. My hope for you is that you find peace in your life soon. Write about it...the fact that you finally are doing just that leads me to believe you are finally on the cusp of being back to good. (((HUGS)))

AmyB said...

I meant to say "Scott WASN'T there for you." Oops. *blush*

Jewels said...

not impressed with this Scott fellow, sounds like you are better off.

Internet Hugs from across the continent!

nuttycow said...

I'm sorry you've had such a bad time darling.


Paige Jennifer said...

I need a nap and I didn't live through one minute of that. The term douchenbaggenasshat comes to mind regarding your ex.

Just know that you're stronger than you believe. And lots of people are cheering you on from the sidelines.

gekkogirl said...

Bloody hell fire, as my dad would say. Sarah, I am so so sorry that all of this has happened to you. I echo most of what the others have said and hope that you have found strength and support from the people around you.

And know this, you rock - we all love you and we're all rootin' for ya.

big massive healing hugs, xxx

Lauri said...

Maybe how he acted while you were sick did have a bearing on why you broke up - you may have seen the future in which you gave and gave and gave and he just took....when the chips are down, the real character shows and his wasn't very pleasant to look at....

sending lots of good thoughts your way...glad to see that you're getting it out...(HUGS)

SuvvyGirl said...

Everyone else pretty much sums it up. Fast healing and peace be with you....biiiigggg virtual hug!! :)

J said...

Ditto to what they said. Oh and I want to kick him in the crotch repeatedly.

Anonymous said...

I found your blog a few years back when I was going through my own issues with relationships. Over the past year, I've found the bookmark and clicked to view your site to read occasionally how your relationship was moving along with Scott.

He never seemed all that great and it honestly seemed that you were settling for someone who was never really there for "you". And now I read how he abandoned you in your time of need, esp after a surgery. WHATEVER. I am glad that you are completely AWAY from him.

I have a thyroid condition myself that eventually was eradicated with radiation treatment (oral pills). I know thyroid disease fucks you up all over and it's not psychosomatic and it isn't a joke.

I'm sorry you are feeling bad inside.. But you are so much better off without him.

I hope you feel better.

Anonymous said...

Sorry to hear the wrotten time really was so rotten. You've been through a lot, hope you are giving yourself lots of TLC x

Lpeg said...

Wow, you have been through a lot. (A side note - we got laid off two days apart!)

I can't believe he pulled that crap when you had complications. What. An. Ass. Considering how much you were there for him when his whole world went topsy turvy.

I am so sorry. I hope things are starting to look up, and I am very glad to see that you do not have the C word... xo.


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