~Thursday, August 13, 2009

Beautiful New

This morning I woke up in my beautiful new bed in my beautiful new apartment with my beautiful new man. I opened my eyes to his freckled rectangular back with my pink shabby-chic quilt tucked across him. I smiled. If anyone had told me back in May that life would work out this way, I would have called her a liar and slapped her in the jaw for being so mean.

I still can't believe that this nice apartment is mine. I'm not used to the largeness of it. I also would have never been able to afford the furniture with the old boyfriend because I was always financially rescuing him with 0% interest. And zero credit reporting when he failed to pay me back. I've never known what it is like to have money and not have it tied up in someone else; the jobs I've had before him barely paid enough for me to live, much less save.

When he initially saw my apartment, Christopher walked around and inspected everything. "This is nice," he said. "Nicer than I imagined." He then sat on my new couch and picked up my TV remote like he had been here 1,000 times.

He looked at me. "I remember the last time you did this."


"Move into the city."

We've done this before. Christopher hardly ever brings up last time unless it's to his advantage, but I'm glad he's chosen now to do so. I'm glad he remembers.

And Christopher. He came back. Not only did he come back but things have turned out how I always hoped they would. I keep thinking back to this post and I see the same Christopher was always there. I just didn't know how to deal with it.

I had my therapy appointment this week and, among a whole lot of other things, I updated her with Christopher and me. And how most people in my life aren't exactly thrilled with my status update. Some want to see me date multiple guys. Others, I think, don't trust my judgment. Most just don't want to see me get hurt again, especially so soon.

"I disagree," she said. "You need an example of a good man in your life. Between your father, step-father, and ex you don't have one."

I softened, the worry lines melting off my forehead.

She continued. "And you are approaching it the right way: you are not hiding it because you told your friends. You're still spending time away from him with your girlfriends. If you two were living and breathing each other, I would be worried, but seeing him as you are- a couple of nights a week- is good.

"Don't your friends want good things for you?" she countered. "This sounds like a good thing and you deserve good after having horrible for so long."


So that's how I woke up this morning to his freckled back. Happy.


SuvvyGirl said...

:D I'm glad you are happy!

Biro Chic said...

The sound of new is great. Enjoy it.

J said...

She is right you deserve good things. And I for one am incredibly happy for you.

Lauri said...

So happy for ya!!

Prettylyf said...

So excited for you and glad you're happy!!!

Melissa said...

Your therapist is bang on the money, sweetheart!! So true, and I'm thrilled for you!

LizSara said...

every time i read about how you're doing now i just want to clap my hands together with joy.

Blue soup said...

She's right, you deserve the happiness. Your friends are right to also feel cautious for you - it's just what friends do when they care and no reflection on Christopher (or, indeed, on you or your judgement!)

Keep posting good stuff, we like! x

MamaBear said...

Remember, you thought I'd have that same negative reaction, but I didn't, because you're taking it slow, and being sensible, and taking care of yourself, etc. And also, I like to see you smile.

nuttycow said...

Hoorah to being happy :)


Lpeg said...

She is totally right, and you absolutely deserve happiness! I think we're all delighted for you!!

ps. you should post pics, as I'd love to see what your pretty new apt looks like!!

AmyB said...

And I'm happy for you. :o) Enjoy this time, Sarah! You've PAID FOR AND EARNED it. ((hugs))

Erin said...

You beyond deserve it! Enjoy it!

Mel said...

its not that we aren't happy for you or don't want you to be happy, we are just being good concerned friends who don't want to see you hurt again - we love you and want the best for you - please remember that

Melissa said...

I found this poem, and I love it. I think you might enjoy it too, because it reminded me of what you're going through. It's called "After a While" and here's the link to it.


Hope it's meaningful to you.

TexInTheCity said...

You blog readers like seeing you happy! And I am sure your friends do too. Even if they seem overly cautious.

Peach said...

and I am worried that you'll get hurt (but just cause I loves ya not because of anything particular you've said about C) and I am so happy to read all this post sweetie xxxx

xxxx said...

glad you are happy.. hope all stays well


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