~Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Decoder

Trying to figure out the L-O-V-E situation. Does he or doesn't he? Do I? Don't I?

"What do you like about me?" I asked Christopher. We were cuddling in front of the TV and he had stepped things up a notch by resting his head on mine.

"What?"

This is Christopher's response when he doesn't want to answer a question.

"What do you like about me?" I repeated.

"What?"

"Stop deflecting."

"No seriously, what's the question?" he asked.

"What do you like about me? What makes me special?" I said exasperated.

"I like everything about you right now," he answered nonchalantly.

"No! You can't do that! Wait... right now? As in 'Now, but not later?' You attached a clause to why you like me?"

"You picked up on that? And who says clause?" he laughed.

"Do you like me for my astute observations? Or for my grammatical wit?" I pressed.

"I like everything about you."

In Man World, this is probably a great compliment. However, in Woman World, this means I don't like you enough to give you one specific reason, or even to make one up, but I don't feel like being in trouble with you right now. I huffed.

Christopher squeezed me. "You don't like that answer?"

"I'm disappointed."

"Why?"

"I'm disappointed that you can't articulate why you like--"

"You're the best friend and the best girlfriend I ever had." He spat it out so quickly that it sounded more like You're thebestfriend andthebest girlfriend Ieverhad.

"What makes me a good friend?" I prodded, still looking for one single, unique detail.

"You don't judge. You are a good listener. You think logically."

"What makes me a good girlfriend?"

"You put up with my bullshit. You watch football with me. You're honest. You're loyal."

And there it was. The single detail that I knew was mine: loyalty. I have a hard time giving myself compliments and finding good things about me, but one I can easily say is that I am the most loyal girlfriend you will ever have. I don't cheat. I don't try to upgrade. I don't even really crush on celebrities (except for Gerard Butler whom I openly call my boyfriend). I usually like to boast this to my boyfriends, but I never said this to Christopher.

"How do you know I'm loyal?"

"I just know."

15 comments:

breezyallatsea said...

Ahh, I love Gerard too. So dreamy.

brookem said...

see, the thing is, that's all very well and good and actually really awesome about both you, and your boyfriend, but the thing is....

gerard is mine. ;)

gekkogirl said...

keep Gerard. I want Johnny... does that make me disloyal :P

Sarah said...

I saw The Ugly Truth and I have to say his sexiness quotient definitely goes down with an American accent.

And this cracked me up.

GMoney said...

i knew you were from the moment i found your blog.

MamaBear said...

How does he know? He's paying attention.

Sultana said...

I like how honest you are. With yourself and with the questions that you ask.

Peach said...

hello old friend! i have just read the last 9 or so posts to catch up with your life - internet is a bit pricey and difficult here - I have to say that I still love your astute and tender observations on your relationships, your honesty and your perpicacity, if that doesn't sound too pretentious... love you honey... what an amazing person you are...

I hope you don't stop writing the blog but I think sometimes it happens when you realise the things you write are things (one day, not all things either) are things you would then prefer to tell the person you were writing about... and then when you're in the even more committed stages of relationships, you might feel you're disloyal by writing at all. But I hope you don't ever stop!

and on whether it is love or not... does it matter? as Bob Dylan said, we always used to feel the same, we just saw it from a different point of view (Tangled Up in Blue) - meaning, you might feel the same as Christopher, but whether either of you call it love is another matter... plus, what is love (of course) anyhow?

I wouldn't question it. You sound happy. You sound like you could stay happy, and so does he.

my thoughts, only....

XXX

Lpeg said...

Mmm Gerard Butler. Ohh yes :)

As for Christopher - he just keeps going up those notches. And he does just know - because he can see it, like we can see it :)

Arwen said...

Stop the presses. gekkogirl. Johnny (Depp?) is MINE!


Although, I do love those British accents, too.

Sigh.

Colleen said...

Sounds like you may need to change the name of your blog pretty soon...

SuvvyGirl said...

I was intensely reading and comprehending until you said Gerard Butler...swoon(I think it's the accent and the body I know he can have). So I had to putyself back together and re-read. I don't think he was trying to keep himself out of trouble so much by deflecting but think he was trying to protect himself from being vulnerable.

AmyB said...

Oh he loooooooves you, alright. He's just afraid to admit it. Whether or not he's afraid to admit it to himself or to you is yet to be determined. Be patient. This will pay off. In the meantime, he sounds like he has a pretty great grasp on what makes you such a great person to have in his life. :o)

dont eat the token said...

I went to click on "Like This" like we're on FB or something. I LIKE THIS!

faery-whisper said...

I've been reading your blog all the way through (it's a slow time at work) and I've felt a kindred spirit with you, but this entry just solidified it for me. So many of my friends/family don't even KNOW who Gerard Butler IS.

They are so deprived. He's my favorite actor, and not just because he's hot, but also because he used to be a lawyer and I have aspirations of going to law school.

 

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