~Monday, December 07, 2009


My mother says my step-father left with a whisper, not a bang.

They were arguing over some item that my step-father's parents gave to my mother. My step-father wanted it back and my mother teared up because the item had significance to her family.

My stepfather shot back at her, "Don't you think this is hard on me too?"

And that's when my mother, who has held this secret since July 3rd, opened her mouth and revealed everything. She told him that she knew he was cheating. She described the video the detective shot of him feeding the other woman's cats. How he went to Home Depot and mixed paint for her. Watered her plants. She detailed every lie he told this summer. He was cutting her lawn when he said he was testifying in court. He spent a week at her house when he said he was in my college town for a conference. She told him that she knew about the 400-something text messages they trade a month and told him what times he sent them at. She expressed her disgust when my brother was moving out of the state and we had a last family dinner and he spent the entire time standing in the parking lot talking to her. "So," she said. "I don't think this is nearly as hard on you."

My step-father would normally defend himself and say things like she made him feel like he was never good enough. She made him do it. And he would never admit to lying. My step-father has been a closet smoker for 10 years and still won't admit to it.

But this time, he said nothing. He stayed silent as she revealed everything. He let her finish. And when she was done, he walked away.

My mother helped my step-father move out of the house.

When he was done and handed the keys back to her, he said he was sorry and never meant to hurt her. He then cried.

It's been nearly three weeks since he moved out and we haven't heard from him. We don't expect to hear from him ever again. But the peculiar thing is, he still hasn't signed the divorce papers.


kristin said...


rockhead said...

my mother's husband (still cant call him my stepfather) left like a thief in the night....literally. I loathed him anyway and was glad he left. So I hope you get through this [I did]

Lpeg said...

Wow. I'm glad he didn't have the nerve to say anything back to her, but still not signing the papers?

Bathwater said...

I don't find it odd that he hasn't signed the divorce papers yet. Even though he was the one cheating, mentally he was not ready to get the divorce.

Your mother was probably further along in the process of moving along. He was not facing his issues he was hiding from them.

I hope your mother continues to move on and I hope this does not have a negative effect on your relationships.

Sultana said...

I think he's really guilty for cheating on your mother. The silence, the crying...

Paige Jennifer said...

In light of the recent Tiger Woods scandal, the WaPo had a timely article about cheating in the digital age.


My last two beaus were busted with technology. One's roommate/girlfriend (depending on who you ask) emailed me via Facebook. The other left his Blackberry unlocked. And since I'd recently been burned, I snooped. Hmmm, those naked tits aren't mine....

Anyway, three cheers for your mom! Not because of what she went through but because she stood her ground.

TexInTheCity said...

I would have paid WWE pay per view type money to have seen his face as your mom was giving the play by play of what she knew!

But I think Kristin said it best when she said, "Daaaaaaaang."


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