~Thursday, January 07, 2010


I still go to therapy. I go once a month "for maintenance purposes" as Christopher put it the one time I talked to him about it.

I had my appointment this week and I came out with my heart full of happiness. I skipped to the car and called my mom just like I would on a really awesome first date. That kind of brimming, bubbling happiness.

Anyway, that is not the point of this story. I'll get to that later.

The point of the story is that I had handed my therapist my check and told her how excited I was about 2010 and basically claimed the new year as my bitch. I said that last year was so bad, this one just had to be mine.

She nods her head and tells me this story about her cousins and how their father died unexpectantly in September and their mother died two days before Christmas. "This year just has to be good," she repeats to me in their story.

And then their youngest brother died unexpectantly on New Year's morning. Heart attack, just like the father. The sun wasn't even up yet.

I swallowed. "Can't we just chalk that one up to the Rule of Threes?" I squeaked.

But inside I was kicking and screaming WHY DID YOU HAVE TO TELL ME THIS STORY, YOU EVIL WOMAN?


TexInTheCity said...

2010 is my bitch! I think we should date checks like that: Jan 7, My Bitch!

Blue soup said...

Maybe she was trying to remind you to exercise caution. It's important to be positive, but don't allow yourself to lose reality in it. Life deals harsh blows without warning, so just be prepared. Just in case. It doesn't mean anything will happen, but if you allow yourself to get too carried away with believing that This Is The Year, you might find that if something does happen, you're knocked on your arse before you even know it.

Smile, be forward looking and embrace life, but be ready to put your arms out to brace a fall.

Just in case xx

Anonymous said...

I agree with Blue Soup.

But, seriously...2010 has to be better or I'm going to cut someone. Everyone I know deserves a better year.

Bathwater said...

My therapist told me something once she really should have too. But for the most part she was really good. I would lump that into the past year anyway why do years have to have such fixed boundaries anyway!

AmyB said...

Uhhhh...I know she was talking about it as her own way of dealing and grieving, but couldn't she have told you that story another time and not when you were trying to be excited about your own life for once?! GAH. That being said, I don't know if I've ever heard of a sadder story for those left behind than the one she told you. HEART-WRENCHING! I'll take 'Perspective' for a thousand, Alex.

gekkogirl said...

I think it's great that you are claiming the year like this, as long as you remember that whatever happens good or bad, you are not to be alone in it. Because, together we are always stronger.

As for your Mum, I don't think she realised the effect it would have on you. She was just sharing news and yes maybe she could have done with thinking about it before but you're her daughter and she needed to share.

It doesn't mean you can't be positive about 2010 :-)

Alexia said...

You are, like, the zillionth person to refer to 2010 as '[your] bitch'. Seriously. No exaggeration. This poor little year is going to have a loooot of masters. No, mistresses!

MamaBear said...

Tex: Nice!

Yeah, that whole 2009 sucking? That was going around like plague. Though I'll allow as you had a particularly heinous year.

As for your mom, yeah, what blue soup said; my mom does that too: don't get too excited, Something Bad might still happen, and you wouldn't want to be caught unprepared. She doesn't mean to knock you down a peg, just tether you to reality. On the other hand, sometimes you just want to soar...

Anonymous said...

I second Blue Soup ~~~~ but I want to add that the lady was just telling a story. IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOUR LIFE AND YOUR ABILITY TO BE HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! x So,,,, Be Happy :)


Anonymous said...

I agree Anonymous. Just her story. But it's always good to exercise caution right? And 2010 better be amazing for everyone or I'm going to demand a refund!

Miss Devylish said...

It's not the same at all, but I went to my new year's eve party w/ a lot of expectations (didn't I just support what you were saying about those in the previous post?!) and then had my purse stolen at 2am on my way out the door. Couldn't leave, stuff was found the next morning, phone completely water-logged and had to shell out close to $500 for it, got dumped by email last week in one sentence by a guy who was yo-yo'ing me around since Halloween, almost got fired from my job.. BUT no one died.. there was no 9.0 earthquake here.. I'm still employed.. there are certainly plus sides, but jury's still out on whose bitch is whose between me and 2010.

Sultana said...

Oh no, your mum. Anyway, look at it as a way of her telling you that in life anything can happen, that doesn't mean you stop being positive.

Paige Jennifer said...

School and then a stomach bug kicked my ass in January so pardon the delayed commentary.

Um, how is it no one seemed to suggest making 2010 is My Bitch into a t-shirt? Size medium, please!

Angela said...

I was feeling excited for this year, nd then my dog gave us two scared just before midnight on New Year's Eve, and again two hours later - my poor baby. He stayed with us until last Wednesday. ♥ Anyway, my New Year started with me freaking out, and then pulling myself together and trying to make the best of things. The Twitter barfed up a person I was trying to move on from, and I got sick over ten days ago, injured my back, etc. I've had a few great years in the past, but I'm reluctant to claim any year as mu bitch now.


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