~Friday, September 24, 2010


My mother is spending the week visiting my sick grandmother in the nursing home. She had been telling me that her gentleman friend called her while she was out of town and begged her to return early so they could go out.

"He just would not stop talking about it," she said.

"Yeah, well, I got an e-mail from S today," I shared. "Apparently they have Internet access in rehab and he's discovered Facebook."

"What did he say?"

"'Hey, it's S. I hope your doing good.' Your y-o-u-r. And 'good' instead of 'well.' Ugh."

My mother scoffed. "That's just like him to put the guilt trip on you. Not, 'how are you doing?' but 'I hope your doing good.' Like you should feel bad for him."

My mother had read all the books my therapist told me to read, and then jumped on a women self-help bandwagon and reads about anything that deals with oppression from Man.

"Did you respond to him?" She asked.

"Oh god no. I didn't even know it was from him until I read it 2 or 3 times."

Government Mule has the same name as S. Their last names even start with the same letter and have the same number of syllables. I had e-mailed Government Mule earlier that day and was trying to figure out why he sent me a one-line response with so many grammatical mistakes. I honestly thought Government Mule was angry with me.

"With both of those men contacting us like that, it must be a full moon out," my mother remarked.

"I had walked The Femme Fatale earlier before I called you and noticed the moon was big. I just don't know if it was big enough to be a full moon."

"You just watch. I bet it's a full moon tonight. Strange things always happen on a full moon."

Later that night I was clicking around CNN.com and I happened upon this article: http://articles.cnn.com/2010-09-22/living/harvest.moon_1_autumn-full-moon-optical-illusion?_s=PM:LIVING

Super Harvest Moon: Autumn phenomenon is a rare treat

September 22, 2010|By Jack Maddox, CNN
  • The last day of summer 2010 in the Northern Hemisphere coincides with a full moon.
    The last day of summer 2010 in the Northern Hemisphere coincides with a full moon.

Tonight is the night of the Super Harvest Moon.

It's the last day of summer in the Northern Hemisphere, the beginning of the autumn season and it perfectly coincides with a full moon tonight. And it's the first time in almost 20 years that the stars have aligned for an event like this. (We fully acknowledge that the moon is not a star but it's not very often we get to use the phrase in such close context).

When the summer sun starts setting this evening, it will blend with the rising autumn moon to produce a unique "360-degree style" twilight. The two low-in-the-sky light sources mix together and illuminate the sky all around you, unlike than the typical one-at-a-time approach you see when you drive home from work. And it's from this extra twilight lighting that the Harvest Moon gained its place in the celestial calendar. With farmers depending on moonlight to harvest their crops they would note the autumnal full moon. Thus the phenomenon's name.

It was the effing Super Harvest Moon. The mack daddy of full moons.

I called my mother back.

"Make sure your doors are locked."


Anonymous said...

Did you block Scott on FB?


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