I was excited about this date. He was the writer of the previous post and we communicated well on eHarmony. Reading his e-mails was like sipping rum and feeling the warmth travel down to my belly. I liked him.
He was an A date for me. The ones I've met so far were C dates: I wore whatever I had on for work that day, didn't shower before the date, didn't put any additional effort. Just showed up and been myself. For this one I surveyed my friends on what outfit to wear. I obsessed over every misplaced hair on my head and made sure everything was perfect. Driving to meet him, I had to turn down the air conditioning to a cool 62 degrees so I wouldn't sweat out of anxiety. I spoke kindly to myself beforehand and told myself that all I had to do was be me.
I never considered that the problem could be him.
When I arrived at the restaurant, he walked about 6 or 7 feet in front of me to the table. I justified that maybe he was nervous. Then at the table, the conversation never left him. He didn't take one moment to ask me anything about myself. It was all about him and his passions and his tastes.
And you know what he was? An elitist. He only drank obscure,imported beer. He listened to The Decemberists. (Fine, I am a Decemberist fan as well, but I don't advertise it because its followers have a huge stigma of being assholes. Point proven.) I bet if you opened a bottle of port, he'd swirl it around in his glass and tell you why Citizen Kane is the greatest film of all time. He was that guy. And it was so cliche.
His interests were so singular. When he said he only drank obscure, imported beer (my words), I asked him "But what about watching football with your friends at a sports bar? They don't serve the good stuff. And what about beer pong and flip cup? You are missing out on so much fun!" When he said he doesn't listen to the radio, I thought back to lying on the speed boat with my friends a few weeks ago and singing Ke$ha as it aired and how it was one of my favorite moments of the summer. My interests are more community and socially oriented. His were isolating. There was simply no room for anyone else or anyone else's interests in his life. And that makes me sad for him.
I'm sad for me too. I was excited about meeting him and I'm left feeling so disappointed. There was no way to tell beforehand that he was good on paper but bad at life. The only thing I can take away from meeting him is at least I'm recognizing the losers a whole lot sooner.