~Wednesday, February 09, 2011


I have reached the end of the Internet.

Despite being a 5.5-million person city, the only matches I'm receiving from eHarmony are either people I know in real life or 25 year olds who are "flex" matches, which means they aren't really compatible with you, but what the hell.

I opened a match last week and studied the picture for a minute. I know this guy. I dated him in 2006 when I met him off Match. I didn't write about our date, but I did refer to him as Tuna on the blog.

"Argh," I groaned as my head fell to the desk. "I've already dated you! And why are you still online dating 5 years later?!" The statement had no longer left my mouth before I realized that the same accusation also applied to me.

A couple of days later I was clicking through the profiles again. I happened upon another one that looked familiar. I slowly examined the pictures. In one, the guy was posing with a celebrity. Heh, I thought to myself. My brother's best friend is related to that celebrity. Clicked on the next picture. Now it's a picture of the guy with my brother's best friend. I checked out the name again. It turned out to be my brother's best friend's little brother who I also grew up with. I attended his Eagle Scout ceremony 15 years ago.

I have 600 open matches on eHarmony. That's the number of guys who haven't rejected me and I haven't rejected them. I can't believe that out of 600 bachelors, I can't find one where we mutually like each other. That kind of number just makes me want to give up. If I can't find someone to date out of 600 people, then maybe it's time I wave the white flag.

You win, Internets.


j said...

Now it is my turn to jump up and wave my hands screaming "me too! me too!!"

Krissie said...

I was on and off the eHarm for 3 years before I met my husband on there. Sometimes it takes a while, but I also would suggest unsubscribing once your term is up and giving it a few months before going back. Just think of it as a way of meeting people... if it's tapped out for the time being, find another way, and then go back to it later.

Just my 2 cents, hang in there. I just got married at 32. It's not impossible.

treacle said...

Keep with it Sarah, it will happen. xX

V said...

We all reach the end at some point.

...and here we are.

Lpeg said...


Je m'appelle Danielle said...

I feel the same way and have no idea what to do.

AmericanBridget (Jones) said...

600?!!!!! Wow.

Maybe I should try living in your city. Don't move to mine, the pool here is so gross and disgusting. Want a huge fat guy with a 10-barrel cowboy hat and a truck he doesn't need b/c he doesn't own a ranch? Come on down to TX.

Then again, I could throw you some crap cliche that would make you feel better, but one you've heard over and over.

So I leave you with this...at least we're in it together. You got some good dates out of it...or at least maybe some free drinks and meals? That's something, right? And you got some good blog fodder out of it. And that's good too, right? It might seem like an unlucky situation, but your stories always make me smile (with you, not at you), and that's also gotta count for something, right?

Keep your head up, kid.

Me said...


Same here. I SO SO SO REMEMBER being at that same place.

I would run into the same people on match, okcupid and sometimes even eharmony..yes, there were times where I overlapped all of them....

And I had the same feeling. The exact same "Oh man, dude's been online forever" and then the sinking "uhm...oh yeah, me too."

It's a shit shit place to be. There. That's really the thing. It's a shit place.

But there will come better one eventually, even if you don't believe it right now. I told my blog readers back then often that I don't want to hear the good old "You'll meet your match some day" speech because I might NOT.

So I try not to do that to you. You are fabulous and unique. You are not some dude who's been single for 5 years because he's a Tuna. You had relationships. That didn't work out for different reasons. Give yourself credit for those.

nicole said...

it's not much better in vegas =/
before i met my husband i browsed around, and pretty much every guy here has no shirt on in his profile pic (to show off his huge muscles of course), going to the club is in his top 5 list of favorite activities, and usually has at least 1 picture of a super-model-gorgeous blonde on his arm.
hang in there. you never know where you'll meet mr. right. i met my hubby at my best friend's halloween party.

creativintage said...

GET ON TWITTERRRRRRR. that's where i met my manz!

i love you!

Gretta James said...

I'm beginning to really detest online dating.

I keep making "freinds" and not relationships. What the crap is that about? I don't need more friends.

Bathwater said...

Something is definitely wrong in life when dating becomes this hard.

Toddy said...

For the record, the effin INTERNET always effin wins. At least Eharmony took your money and gave you 600 people to potentially meet. They rejected me. Seriously. You can read about it on my blog here. http://themarathonsmistress.blogspot.com/2010/08/suck-it-eharmony_11.html . So I never online dated. Instead I went to a random house party and now my boyfriend is a guy I grew up six blocks from and then didn't see for 15 years. No shit. hang in there. the internet sucks. the right man is somewhere weird. Cheers, T.

Simmarah said...

God, internet dating seems to be the "out thing" now. POF, EHarm and all the other ones keep turning out to be the losing way to meet someone these days.

I finally gave up. And when I did, I was meeting guys left right and center. Good luck doll!

Krissie said...

I 2nd the twitter comment. I met a guy via twitter once.

Jess said...

At least it provides you with a funny story :)...funny being relative.

La Femme said...

If Atlanta has a good twitter community I'd say do it, but I'm not sure about it. Here in Vegas the community is strong, but also very superficial.

And, as Nicole says, the guys here are full of themselves and not worth a second look.

Krista said...

I haven't lived here long enough to know all my matches, but every time an Italian guy comes up as a match I can't help but wonder if he's a member of my husband's huge Italian family.

M said...

you need to date someone from dodgeball I think

da3d2ac8-3880-11e0-9bda-000bcdcb471e said...

From the time I was 22 til now (I'm 34), I was on everything. I was on love@aol, some other matching thing on yahoo, then match when it came along, then eharmony. I dated guys from all of them, as well as friendster, AIM, and craigslist (I'm so ashamed). After something like 150 first dates, I got sick of it all and decided to work on me and loving myself before anyone else. But I still had 2 months left on chemistry. There was a guy who started out letting me know about his past 6 year relationship. I didn't have high hopes. Even after a great first date, I canceled the second because I was afraid that I still had a lot to work on myself. But he sent me a very sweet e-mail and I changed my mind. I'm glad I did since we plan on getting married. Just don't give up hope.

Paige Jennifer said...

I hear ya, sister. But I keep telling myself, I only need to really make it work with one. Just one. Though, like, it'd be super fun to have 300 boys be perfect matches.


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