~Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Ramifications

A few days later I showed up with a girlfriend to a bar to visit old friends from dodgeball season.

"Hey! Sarah!" waved the girl from the Irish pub on Sunday.

"Oh! Hey!" I immediately headed towards her table. Sitting across from her was Clemson. One chair down from her was Statham's ex. Uh oh.

We chit chatted about our Monday mornings and how rough they were due to the weekend activities. She said she wasn't drinking that night, but still managed to have a shot and a beer in front of me.

She leaned towards me, "I noticed, by the way. First Baseman was too drunk to notice, but I did. Statham had his arm wrapped around your leg on Sunday."

I immediately looked up. The ex had her back to us; she was deep in conversation with another girl I recognized from girl's night. I had a feeling I knew what she was talking about: the very same boy we were talking about.

"Oh. Ha ha. Nothing happened," I worked out.

"I noticed," she repeated.

I didn't say anything.

She looked around the room, uninterested in my answer. "My drama isn't here tonight." Funny, because First Baseman is out of town. She's referring to someone else. Statham was right about everybody being with everybody.

"I don't like drama. I love other people's drama, but I don't like my own," I told her.

She looked hard at me, "You better be careful then," she warned. She turned around, "Doesn't the ex look so sad? I IM with her while I am at work."

Her loyalties don't lie with Statham; they lie with the ex. Statham warned me that his breakup was going to create a fissure in the group and that he was going to lose friends. I just didn't think it was going to be the girl in front of me. Everything was fine a couple of days ago. She was even trying to set him up with one of her friends.

I didn't say anything again. I was too concerned with the current situation with the ex to be bothered to see if Clemson had heard any of this.

My girlfriend arrived and I was grateful for the distraction. We headed to the opposite corner where our friends were. Meanwhile, I typed out a text to Statham:

Did you say anything to our friend?

I'm confused. About what?

I'm at the bar. She just said something to me.

I learned later is that this is the exact moment Statham's phone blew up. I wasn't the only one texting him. So was the girl from Sunday, and so was the ex. When Statham realized we were all out together and he wasn't there, he damn near had a panic attack.

What I didn't know then that I know now is that in between Statham's and my hookup and me being at this bar, Statham met up with the ex for some closure. The morning after meeting up with his ex, he contacted me to set up a date. He asked if we could go somewhere in my part of town "preferably somewhere without the chance of gunfire." I originally thought he was making a crack about my apartment location, but now I'm beginning to think that "gunfire" meant a situation such as this.

Even though Statham and I promised to each other that neither of us would say anything, everyone knew in less than three days. Despite Statham flat-out telling the girl from Sunday that he hit on me and I turned him down, and despite me being tight-lipped to her as well.

Later on in the week, Statham would be sitting on my bed and telling me what really happened in the bar the night I was there. The girl from Sunday told the ex that Statham got drunk, hit on a girl and she took him home. Thanks to Facebook, it was pretty apparent that the girl was me.

She knew. The whole time I was there, she knew. And to give her credit, she didn't say a word to me.

19 comments:

Dream in Grey said...

Ouch! Thank goodness these are new friends not people you've known for ages so extricating yourself from their social circle shouldn't be too hard if that's what you need to do.

More story please!

soupemes said...

Technically, her anger at you would be misplaced anyway - as technically he was single and free to do whatever he liked.

The argument may go that you should steer well clear of him because of that, but what if you hadn't known the exact details - that he had only very recently just broken up with her. For all she knows, you didn't know that. For all she knows, you only knew that he was single. And drunk and hit on you. That may explain why there's been no scene between her and you.

I think the whole situation sounds terribly painful and I'd be trying to get away from the lot of them. But you're usually a few days ahead in life when you post so I'm interested to see where you went with it.

Hope you're ok. x

bonda84 said...

I think there's something in the air that just attracts drama lately...I've had plenty of my own. But, don't beat yourself up over this. This sounds like the type of group that would find another way to make it if this weren't going on. Besides, it's not like you are openly flaunting what's going on and neither is he. And while yes it may hurt the exes feelings, she will get over it. Pretty soon all of this too shall pass, be yesterdays news and they will all be involved in the latest drama. Just breath, keep your head held high and don't feel ashamed for anything you've done.

MissM said...

These people seem to act like they're in Jr. High. What an uncomfy position to be in.

treacle said...

I applaud the ex-girlfriends dignity in not saying anything to you.

Look after yourself Sarah, that's who we all care about.

Syd said...

I don't think you have anything to feel guilty about. You didn't have obligations/loyalties to anyone there, at this point.

That said - I think it will probably be difficult for you to make friends with the girls in the group at this point. Not saying it's right, or that they'd be justified, but the girls will probably shut you out because they are loyal to her.

But who knows? If she didn't say anything to you, and it seems like the first girl was friendly enough...at the start of the conversation anyway, so maybe they realized everyone is an adult and can sleep who they want to sleep with.

herrabidglow said...

It's not anyone's business who you have sex with. I wouldn't get too personal or deep with this group of people. It sounds like a whole lot of unnecessary and ridiculous drama comes with them, and life is too short for that shit.

j said...

Yes, the ex does deserve a whole pile of credit for not perpetuating the drama. She has dealt with Statham directly which is the way it should be. This group loves the drama it seems. Take care of you.

Bathwater said...

Big deal she know, these people are not your long lost friends you have not figured out there little games. I would not worry about it still either the group will shift as relationships shift or it is too incestuous to be a part.

Maura said...

Girl from Irish pub = troub-le. Don't let them suck you into their vortex of BS and dramz.

preciousandpriceless said...

holy crappers!!!!!

i think you need to find a new crew to try and infiltrate! even though that's a bit difficult.

because the truth does come out eventually.

Sounds like Statham needs to be single for awhile and although a romp is fun [and well deserved] leave it as a romp and move on.

I find it's usually the 'others' in the drama that create the issues, rather than the individual.

hold your head high and keep tight lipped. it's really not the 'others' business.

Seine said...

Eek! Good job Statham for having the closure with the ex.

I'd be wary about actually dating him though... If I were in your shoes, I'd lump everything over to "friends with benefits" until I can better judge his intentions. My gut would say that he's not ready to actually date, but he could also be one of those serial monogamists who jumps from 1 serious relationship to another...

Good luck with the new dodgeball team!

Je m'appelle Danielle said...

Ooh, your drama and I have new episodes of Gossip Girl and 90210 to watch. Today is going to be great!!

Sunday pup girl is a drama queen, do not confide or really befriend her in any real way. Duh. At least the ex didn't go all WT on your ass "That there is my man!"

If you and Staham want to see each other, then do, but if it becomes dramatic then toss him.

Anonymous said...

Good on Statham for being completely honest about this entire thing and keeping you in the loop with his ex and their situation, good on him for getting closure.

There's nothing you should regret.

Anonymous said...

I like the nickname Statham. It's the best name so far for anyone you've dated.

For that reason, I have a good feeling about you and him in my belly!

Statham might well be the guy you marry.

Pls don't let the negative vibes from his ex or her friends put you off exploring a solid relationship with him.

Me said...

Mercury in retrograde. After the 23rd things will turn :)

jo said...

oh man that just sounds like too much drama. i still don't think you did anything wrong per se as statham was single. and i'm glad that he seeked closure with his ex. but i'm still not sure if he's ready to date again and frankly, this new group sounds way too complicated to be very close to.

J said...

Organized sports for adults + drinking = drama! Someone else mentioned this already, but it bears repeating- the only person anyone could fairly say acted wrongly in this situation is the shit-stirring girl in the bar, or perhaps Statham for moving on quickly (which is not exactly a crime, either). Hopefully the new friends can see this, despite any loyalties to his ex.

Anonymous said...

yeeech



-dont

 

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