There is a boy in this world who likes me. To quote my favorite Christmas movie, "Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where's the Tylenol?"
The boy in question is Lawyered's best friend. He made an appearance in this post, where he nailed me in the face in dodgeball and I charged him and started a fight with him (Oh what a story for the grandkids). He also made an appearance in this post when I invited him up to my beach house from Hilton Head.
Lawyered's fiancée was out drinking with Mel, Schmoozer and me at a local brewery one afternoon following the beach trip.
"He told me he likes one of your friends. I think her name was Katie?" she said.
Mel and I met each other's glances across the table. Mel was first to shake her head. I burst out laughing.
"What? I don't get it?" asked the fiancée.
"EVERYBODY likes her," I explained. "Some people just have that 'it' factor and I guess she has it. She was even having an off night that night because she was bummed that she and Schmoozer broke up." I gestured to the boy sitting next to me. Schmoozer was oblivious, talking to another one of my girlfriends from kickball seated on the other side of him.
But that night was the night Lawyered, his golf buddy and his best friend met up with us at the local bar and I ran into Nameless Teammate. I returned to the table in tears. Lawyered dumped Nameless Teammate's drink on him and the best friend took me dancing to my favorite song.
Most of the people had left. The best friend returned from the bar with a beer for me. I was feeling sorry for myself.
"If I could have done it all over again, I would have chosen you," he told me. When he came up to my beach house, he brought one of my girlfriends that he was trying to date, but she was more interested in using him. And this was before he expressed interest in Katie. He had chosen everyone else before me.
I don't know. Maybe it was my state of mind in the moment. I was so profoundly sad at the recent rejection I had been feeling. But the statement he said that was supposed to be sweet made me feel like the consolation prize. He liked my girlfriend, then he liked Katie. I felt just... there, in front of him, like the meat at the end of a buffet that you don't really want, but hey it's free. I want to be first choice in someone's life. The main attraction. The fillet mignon.
Friday, I was out with Lawyered, his fiancée and his golf buddy at happy hour. Lawyered and the golf buddy were playing a game of darts. The fiancée and I were seated at the table adjacent to them. It was the turning point of the evening. The moment where you either order water and sober up or order another beer and make a night of it. We ordered more beers.
"The best friend called Lawyered and told him he likes you," she admitted to me.
"I had a feeling."
Being liked makes me feel feminine, something I haven't been feeling lately because I've been clocking in so much time with dudes. But I'm not interested. He's not my fillet mignon either. And now I'm in the awkward position of rebuking him but maintaining the friendship.
4:08 PM
3 weeks ago
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12 comments:
Well maybe Lawyered and the Fiance will pick up that you're not interested and help keep him at bay. It is nice to have someone make you feel wanted again in the right way though :)
I agree that feeling like a consolation prize when a dude likes you is not appealing. Regardless, there is definitely something nice about knowing someone likes you.
Fuck that guy. Not literally, but you know, he can fuck off. Let him like you from the friends seat. Serves him right for not expressing interest in you first.
If it were me, and some guy said "It should have been you" I would have told him "Yeah I know" in a tone that let him know that he fucked it up.
I am with Danielle on this. I hate being the last on the list.
I say enjoy the flirtation if you want to. But don't stress. Just because a guy likes you doesnt mean you have to like him. I used to feel that way in third grade, but not anymore :)
You know, I feel what you are saying here. but, I'm thinking don't write him off. sure, schmoozer initially liked katie, but he didn't want to stay with katie. to use a random clothing/handbag analogy - katie could be whatever might be very fashionable at the moment, but you're the investment piece.
I mean, if you aren't feeling him, you aren't feeling him - but i mean, some relationships don't start with a huge story, you know? you just kind of ease out of the friendship and into the relationship.
I would definitely take that as a compliment. Sure, we all want to have men falling instaneously at our feet, smitten by the mere sight of us but, having someone find you more attractive the more they get to who you are inside? That level of attraction has substance and brings with it a huge amount of respect. Take it as such.
Hmmm, it was the wrong thing to say, I'll give you that but it might lead to a strong bond. Nothing lasts on looks alone. How can a person know what he wants until they get to know you.
I'd say Danielle said it best. Keep him in the friends zone, and if he says anything again, explain nicely why you're no one's second choice.
You deserve so much better. It is rather nice to be liked though!
I agree with Syd and freckled. It happened more when I was younger than now, but there have been numerous times where I wasn't initially drawn to someone but after being around her for awhile I became strongly attracted to her. And as the both noted, that attraction goes beyond just looks.
That being said, he really put his foot in his mouth. Saying "If I could have done it all over again, I would have chosen you," is freaking dumb. He should have kept that thought to himself or said something along the lines of, "The longer I'm around you, the more attractive you are".
I totally get what you're saying. First choice is so much better, but sometimes, it takes boys a while to get a clue and besides, I like what Syd said. You're the investment.. and the prize at that sister.. Don't forget that. xox
I know a gal who was dumped by her beau of five years because he wasn't sure. A few years later, he came back to her and said, "If I can't make it with you, I can't make it with anyone." I heard it as, being with you is better than being alone. She heard at as, you're the one. This same guy, now her hubs, chased and flirted with me for years. And in a fit of single sadness, I finally caved and slept with him. Turns out my interpretation was correct.
In other words, hold out for the best piece of meat.
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